


I sing the song of who I was (and who I now am)

by SoccerSarah01



Series: Prompts [4]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Canon Compliant, Drabble Collection, Ficlet Collection, Gen, Introspection, No romance here!, Platonic Relationships, rated teen for language and some descriptions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:42:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 49
Words: 22,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26152861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoccerSarah01/pseuds/SoccerSarah01
Summary: People grow, people change. People cry, people laugh. People smile, people frown. People rise, people fall.People die.People live.Everyone makes choices in their lives; sometimes good, sometimes bad, but always real. Everyone lives their own way: freely, without remorse or shame.How willthesepeople live?(Or: A series of introspective ficlets focused around our favorite pirates, revolutionaries, and occasional marine.)
Series: Prompts [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1974703
Comments: 84
Kudos: 63





	1. ace + breeze

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So on a discord I'm on we started sending each other character prompts, and I decided to publish mine as a collection. A note for what arc the spoilers go up to will be in the notes for each chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Post-Marineford

As long as Ace can remember, the breeze has been the thing that he loves most. Well, no, that’s not true. He loves the ocean, and the freedom that it represents. He loves his brothers, his family as much as life itself. But the breeze is a constant, soothing and with him (loving him) throughout his entire life.

When Ace is running through the forest as a toddler, the breeze kisses his cheeks, drawing laughs from his lips as he sprints, carefree and bright. It ruffles his hair like a mother would (a mother that he never got the chance to know). It pushes him forward, the trees ruffling with the wind as he runs, a smile on his face.

Time passes, and Ace is no longer carefree, no longer as bright and free as he was as a toddler. Time has not been kind to him, but still he runs, and still the breeze remains, kissing his cheeks and ruffling his hair as if no time has passed at all. And in those moments, he feels that maybe, maybe no time _has_ passed. In those moments, he returns to that bright, cheerful little boy, free and wild.

More time passes, and one becomes two, and two becomes three. The lone boy returns to the happy, carefree young boy he had once been, and the breeze kisses all three of their cheeks, laughing along with them. It ruffles their hair as they swear brotherhood, and pushes them forward as they run, run, run through the trees.

(The breeze ruffles Ace’s hair as he stands on the cliffside, ruffles the letter that he’s holding. For once, the breeze is not a comfort, and he cries (and cries, and cries.))

The two grow older, and soon enough, the breeze pushes Ace away from his little brother, carrying with it calls that they’ll meet again. The breeze follows the boy through his journey, through triumph and failure, through love and family, through heartbreak and loss. It laughs as he becomes fire, the breeze fueling him as he laughs, more carefree and bright than he’s ever been before. It kisses his cheeks in joy as he finds his family, and storms around him in anger as treachery strikes.

Time passes yet again, and Ace finds himself locked up, away from the breeze. There is no comfort to be found, and he slumps, more alone than ever.

The boy looks up at the sky when he’s transferred, feeling the breeze kiss his cheeks for the last time. The breeze no longer feels like freedom, but if he closes his eyes, he is able to fool himself into thinking that maybe, just maybe, he’s back in that forest, free and wild once again.

When he is freed, the breeze laughs and welcomes him back, fueling his fire gleefully as he laughs along with it.

The breeze is the last thing he feels, falling out of his brother’s arms as the wind brushes his cheeks for the last time, a smile on his face as the breeze welcomes him home.


	2. robin + direction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Enies Lobby

The first thing that gives Robin direction in life (other than survival, of course) is learning to read Poneglyphs. It’s the only thing that connects her to her mother ( ~~the only thing that gives her reason to live, after being told for so long she doesn’t deserve to~~ ). So, she spends years reading, studying, learning. In doing so, she becomes a fully-fledged archeologist, but the connection to her mother was the thing truly driving her forward.

(Ohara burns, and the only thing that keeps her from going with it is Saul, pushing her forward and giving her hope.)

Finding the Rio Poneglyph becomes Robin’s sole goal in life. Before, it was just mild curiosity, a curiosity Robin had for everything – everything that she could learn, she did. Now, she has nothing, only the history of her island on her back and the realization that the Rio Poneglyph held something the world needed to know pushing her forward.

(She never forgets what Saul told her, but after betrayal after betrayal, after running for her life for so long, she can’t bear to hope. She can’t bear to stake her life on finding friends who would love her for who she is. She locks it away, both her heart and her hopes, finding the Rio Poneglyph her only purpose.)

In that tomb in Alabasta, where her direction lead her for twenty years, she is ready to die. The poneglyph was not it, and she collapses, her hopes crashing down around her. The Rio Poneglyph seems unreachable, her direction gone, and she has nothing left. She accepts her fate, slumping and using the last of her energy to save the man who had defeated the man who had been her comrade for years now ( ~~another organization lost, another betrayal by her~~ ).

Yet, as she has nothing left driving her, Straw Hat Luffy picks her up, taking her from the tomb. She fights – so, so hard. She has nothing left, she yells. Just let me die, she cries. _My direction is gone,_ she weeps internally. _What do I have left?_ The man of D ignores her, taking her out anyway.

For a couple days, Robin wanders aimlessly, both physically and mentally. She doesn’t know what to do, so she did the only thing she could do, and joins the crew of the man that had saved her life. They are suspicious, but she is coy, and wins the trust of most before long. The swordsman holds out, but he was loyal to his captain, so she knew he wouldn’t be trouble.

Traveling with this crew changed her life. At first, she is baffled. They seem so incohesive, so different. Yet, they and their dreams (their lifestyles, their _directions_ ), all meld so well. Pirate King. World’s Greatest Swordsman. Drawing the Map of the World. Brave Warrior of the Sea. Finding the All Blue. Finding the Cure to Every Disease. She doesn’t know where she could fit in with all those, so just drifted along for the ride, enjoying the chaos that the small crew left in their wake.

(She scolds herself heavily for thinking, even for a moment, that she could fit in. They would betray her (abandon her, _hate_ her) before long. She distances herself, ignoring the small voice inside her pleading for her to trust them.)

(The voice sounds suspiciously like Saul, and Robin shakes her head, dispelling the memories of fire and ice filling her mind.)

They traveled to a sky island, and Robin marvels at the wonders the crew was capable of (so sure of themselves and their paths, and god, Robin wishes she could be like that). And, suddenly, hope flared in Robin, a poneglyph telling her, _keep going, you’re not lost yet._ A sudden drive filling her, she leaves the sky feeling lighter than she ever had, new drive filling her.

And just as quick as hope finds her again, it is ripped away.

Aokiji attacked, leaving her colder than ever, and CP9 came, and she knew all hope was lost. Yet, somehow, before she knew it, her direction had shifted. It isn’t just about her anymore, about her history. Protecting her friends (her family, those who love her for who she is) becomes her sole direction in life. She would let the world burn if it meant her family would be safe.

She should’ve known they wouldn’t take that laying down.

Standing on top of the Tower of Justice, looking down at the crew she had abandoned, she is struck by how huge they seemed. Not huge in size, no, but huge in personality, in dreams. Their purpose in life seems so strong, and standing there, being stared down, she was struck by how much they make her want to stand with them. She shouts denials, cries her fears to them, that they’ll abandon her, that they’ll betray her, and she’d rather die. Her captain, her savior, ignores absolutely all of that.

The flag burns, and her captain shouts, “SAY YOU WANT TO LIVE!”

Through her tears, she shouts back her dream, the one she was never allowed to have, and gets six sharp grins in return. As she is dragged away, she is struck by the realization that she had underestimated them. She thought her captain’s dream was solely to become King of the Pirates, to become the freest in the world. After having seen him at the top of the courthouse, challenging the world, she realizes his dream, his direction in life was more than that.

His dream was also to fulfill theirs. He wouldn’t rest until Zoro was the Greatest Swordsman, until Nami had drawn her Map of the World, until Sanji found the All Blue, until Usopp became a Brave Warrior of the Sea, until Chopper found the Cure to Every Disease. Until she found the Rio Poneglyph (until she found her reason to live).

And she found it with this crew, with these wonderful people, full of fire and dreams bigger than life. She found her way again, her way to live happily with people who will protect her and cherish her, with those who will support her dream as if it were their own. And she will do the same in return.

(The voice inside her, the voice that had been telling her for so long, _you’re not alone, don’t give up yet, you’ll find those who will protect you, who will love you,_ finally quiets, at peace at last.)


	3. sanji + smoke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Whole Cake Island

Sanji stares up at the smoke filling the sky, blanketing them as they sail from Enies Lobby. Vindication fills him at the thought of Enies Lobby, which had nearly taken Robin-chan from them, burning to the ground. The thought of the bastards that had taken Robin-chan from them, beaten her, _degraded her_ , causes Sanji to grip onto his cigarette tight.

 _Robin-chan’s with us now_ , Sanji reassures himself. _We got her back_. Luffy had refused to give her up the entire time, even against her wishes (though Sanji refuses to believe she ever actually wanted to die). Luffy never gives up on a crewmate, and Sanji is proud to call him his captain.

(Sanji refuses to consider what might happen if his family came back. He refuses to think about his captain not giving up on him, no matter what his family says about him. He refuses to think about his captain, beaten and on the ground, staggering to his feet and fighting his hardest to keep Sanji with him.)

(He refuses to consider that he might have to denounce his captain, might have to refuse the place that has been more of a home than anything has ever been before (even Baratie). He refuses to think about possibly being forced to attack his captain, to be the cause of his pain. He refuses to think about doing it anyway, because his family is ruthless and cruel, and will stop at nothing to kill anything and everything Sanji holds dear, and Sanji will do _anything_ to prevent that.)

(He refuses to think about how that mirrors what Robin-chan did, and how his captain went after her, _saved her,_ anyway.)

( _It’s not the same_ , he convinces himself. He can't make himself believe it.)

Shaking himself from the thoughts he refuses to consider, he turns back to his crew, his _family_ and rejoins the celebrations. There is no room for thoughts of himself and the family he refuses to know right now, after all. Robin-chan’s safe, they’re home, and that’s all he needs right now.

(Two years later, Sanji will think back to this and laugh. As smoke clouds the sky as they escape from Tottoland, Sanji will think, _how did I ever think Luffy would let me do this?_ )

After all, home is where the heart is. And, no matter how hard anyone on their crew tries, Luffy will always bring them home.


	4. nami + isolation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Post-Enies Lobby

Nami learns what true isolation feels like was when she is ten.

She learns it through staying in that _room_ for hours on end, drawing map after map, blood running down her fingers from how tight she was gripping the pen (and down her chin from how tight she was biting her lip) She learns it from knowing her sister hadn’t abandoned her and was always available for a hug and a shoulder to cry on, but also knowing that she couldn’t risk visiting her for fear of angering her “captain.” She learns it from knowing the village would rise up and fight against the pirates if Nami just revealed the truth (but they _can’t_ – they would all die, Nami can’t let that happen).

Nami desperately remembers Bellemere’s words, thinking _better things will come, better things will come,_ constantly, her mantra as things steadily got worse, and worse, and worse. Loneliness crawls over her like a vice, and she locks her heart away, not letting anyone get close to her.

(Being close to someone only leads to pain, she learns. Even as she ventures out more and more as she grows, the loneliness never eases.)

(She wonders what Bellemere would think of her, locking herself away. (She scolds herself, thinking, _as long as you get the 100 million berries, you’ll be fine. A little isolation is nothing._ ))

(She ignores the screaming voice inside her, pleading for her to _just find help, people will help you if you just let them in_.)

Just as she’s almost there, just as she finally gets used to that vice of loneliness around her heart, a dumbass rubber boy falls out of the sky in front of her, turning her whole world upside down.

 _It’s just a deal_ , she tells herself as she patches up the future Pirate King’s hat, fondness filling her even as she scolds him for immediately poking at it.

 _It’s temporary_ , she scolds herself as she patches up the future Greatest Swordsman, telling him, “be more careful next time!” as if there would be a next time for her.

 _I can’t stay with them_ , she reminds herself as she snickers with the Brave Warrior of the Sea, watching the antics of their other two friends (partners, she corrects herself firmly).

 _They can’t do anything,_ she convinces herself, as she sails away from the floating restaurant, tears falling down her cheeks, the vice of loneliness that had been fading away tightening again.

 _Please, help me,_ she pleads as her friend places his hat on her head, yelling to the world that of course, he’d help her.

 _They did it,_ she marvels, as her captain stands in the rubble of her prison, yelling to the world that Nami is one of them now. The ever-present vice of loneliness finally disappears, and Nami smiles a true smile, tears pouring down her cheeks as she nods, saying, “Uh-huh!”

Sailing on the Thousand Sunny, surrounded by her crewmates, her friends, her family, she forgets what it was like to be truly, forever isolated and lonely. She smiles, and laughing, lets the love and security from her family take her away from her memories.

She’s not alone anymore, and she never will be again.


	5. luffy + shatter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Post-Marineford

Luffy shattered, once.

Sitting in Dadan’s hut, waiting for Ace to come back, Luffy was not broken. He was wounded, he was bent, but he was not broken. He had no confirmation that Ace was dead or alive, so he was just suspended, waiting, and waiting, and waiting.

And then Ace came back, and he was the happiest he had been in days. He had his brother back, they were safe, everything was good!

(Until it wasn’t.)

That day, in that hut, after hearing that news, Luffy shattered. It felt as if his heart was breaking, pain shooting through his chest and sending heaving sobs through his body. He cried, and cried, and cried, and even though Ace was yelling at him to stop crying, even though he would normally listen to Ace without question, he couldn’t stop it.

For days, he didn’t eat, didn’t talk, didn’t do anything other than sit in his room and cry. Ace and Sabo weren’t there.

Sabo would never be again.

(He was alone.)

All he could do was wallow in his room, remembering the brother whose laugh still rung in his ears and smile still flashed in his eyes.

Sometime later, he left the hut. He made his way to the cliff where they vowed to fulfil their dreams, and the reminder that Sabo would never get the chance to fulfil his made him collapse into sobs. Hiding his head beneath his hat, he sobbed for his brother yet again.

And then, Ace was there (he was never alone, how could he think that?). Luffy promised to become stronger (and stronger, and _stronger_ , until he never has to lose anyone ever again!) Ace promised to never die, and that promise allowed the shattered pieces inside him to slowly start to fit together again. He started eating again; they started training and becoming strong. Eventually, the pieces of him melded together, stronger than ever.

He was never going to let himself lose anyone again.

Ten years later, kneeling on the grass of Amazon Lily, he feels himself shatter again. This time, he doesn’t have an Ace to fit him back together. This time, he is truly, forever alone.

And he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to piece the pieces back together again.


	6. merry + cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Post-Enies Lobby

The ocean seabed, Merry thinks, is the scariest place a ship could end up.

Most end up there. Capsized, abandoned, destroyed by enemies – there are so many ways a ship could be left there.

The seabed is dark. It’s lonely; it’s treacherous, with sea kings and monsters alike haunting the waters.

But, most of all, it’s cold. One thing a ship never is, above the water, is cold. The crew of the ship surrounds the ship in warmth – well, physical warmth, at least. Only the most lucky of ships get surrounded by both physical warmth _and_ emotional warmth. Losing that – losing that warmth – it's the worst thing that could happen.

She knows this well – she is one of the lucky ones. Her crew, god, she loves them so much.

Her captain, who, even though he rams her into icebergs and ripped her mast off (which _hurt,_ though she’d never tell him), is the brightest and loudest person on the seas and shouts his love for her with a joy that surrounds her.

Her swordsman, who, for all that his squabbles with Sanji end up causing broken features, always takes care not to nick her during his training and shows a soft kind of care to all of his crewmates, even her.

Her navigator, who is always the most careful with her, directing their path and showing them the way with a laugh and bright smile.

Her sniper, who always takes care of her (even though he doesn’t know how); who talked to her and laughed with her and loved her from the very beginning.

Her cook, who, though his squabbles with Zoro always leave their marks, always makes sure to come back and help Usopp patch her back up, with a soft grin and soft hands.

Her doctor, who is the youngest of the crew and acts as such, always talking to her excitedly about their adventures and making her laugh with glee at the escapades her crew gets up to.

Her archeologist, who, though she hasn’t known her for long, always gives her a soft greeting once she arrives back at the ship, with a soft smile and laugh welcoming her home.

These people, who Merry isn’t sure she deserves, make sure she never feels cold. She is always surrounded by warmth, by laughter and smiles, by _love._

(She thinks she will never have to know what the cold feels like.)

And then, her damage finally reaches its limits, and she uses her last act as their ship to save her crew one last time (as they have saved her, again, and again, and again.)

She has a moment to fear what all ships have been taught to fear, that dark, lonely, * _cold*_ seafloor, and then-

_“Merry, the seafloor is dark and lonely, so we’re going to see you off!”_

Her captain, her wonderful captain, assuages her fears, and she wonders how she ever doubted they would take care of her until the very last moment.

Even as she says apologies, even as her crew is crying in front of her, even as she is burning and being destroyed (what should be her worst fear), she laughs.

She has never felt so warm.


	7. usopp + loneliness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Water 7

When Usopp was seven, he lost his mother.

It wasn’t sudden, when it happened. They’d known for months, even a year, that it was coming. However, that doesn’t make the loss of family any easier. His mother was his support, his beacon of light in a world that seemed so dark without her.

(She told him not to resent his father for not coming back. He tried very hard to listen to her; to respect her last wishes.)

(Sometimes it’s really hard to.)

After her death, he was lonely. Sure, he had his village, and sure, people tried to visit and keep him company, but he was still lonely. For so long, his family had just been him and his mom, and he missed her.

Soon, though, he started to run through the streets and yell about pirates coming. The villagers helped ease his loneliness, accepting his whims with fond smiles. Imagining his father potentially coming back helped him get over his mother’s death.

(He shook away the thought, the knowledge, that his father was probably never going to come back.)

The loneliness started to fade then, and faded completely when he made friends with three little boys and a girl who needed him; needed his stories.

(He never forgets what loneliness feels like, but pushes it down, surrounding himself with the laughter and joy of his friends.)

Ten years later, he has found a crew – a family that he thinks he’ll die for and they’ll do the same for him. He loves them; Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Nami, Chopper, Robin. And they all love Merry just as much.

(Or so he thought.)

Standing in front of Luffy, anger flooding his veins as rain falls around them, he feels betrayed. They want to get a new ship. _They want to abandon Merry._ It’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard. Merry’s fine. She can be fixed. She can still sail.

(Part of him thinks, _if they are so willing to abandon her, if they think she’s ‘useless’, what’s stopping them from abandoning me?_

 _I’m not any more useful, after all._ )

He and Luffy fight, he loses, and as he lays there on the ground, hearing his friend (no, not anymore, they’re through) sob in front of him, he finds himself tearing up. He hears someone leave something next to him (probably Chopper, with medical supplies) and tears start falling freely from his eyes.

His (former) crew leaves. Usopp rises, taking the medical supplies with him and sits on the Merry. He drops the supplies, wraps his arms around his knees, and starts to sob.

He has left his crew, his family, behind, and he has never felt more lonely.


	8. hancock + free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Amazon Lily

When Hancock first saw Monkey D. Luffy, all she felt was fear. She gasped, startled back, and immediately panicked.

And how could she not?

Men had taken her, branded her and her sisters, trapped them, betrayed them, _destroyed_ them, and so when that man saw her back, all she could feel was utter fear, utter desperation, because she can’t go back, she can’t, she _can’t._

And so, she captured him. Even as her own people vouched for him, even as he glared at her furiously for turning his "friends" (men don’t have friends – they have people they use, and use, and use, until there’s nothing left. She is very familiar with that.) to stone, she remained firm.

There are no good men, after all. He would show his true colors before long.

He was strong. Stronger than she thought he would be. He easily defeated Bacura, and so she sent her sisters in to finally get rid of him. Because he had to die; it was the only way to protect their freedom.

She was afraid, and desperate to protect herself, her sisters, so she pushed, and pushed, and pushed; kept yelling for them to finally kill him, to kill her fear, because there just can't be a decent man, there can't, there can't, she can't, she can't, she _can't_ , and then-

And then the man covered her sister's back.

He covered the thing that means _they're not free, they're never free, they never will be free._

He covered the very thing that could cost them _everything._

She halts everything; she sends everyone away as the man continues covering her sister's back, their shame, even as he burns from the fire that had revealed it in the first place.

Finally, everyone is gone, and she collapses, covering her face with her hand, futilely trying to hide the tears coursing down her face.

He protected their safety, their _freedom_ , and she doesn't know how to feel. Men are cruel; they're dangerous; they _never_ let her and her sisters go free.

Yet, this man, he-

She had never met him in her life, yet he did more for them than anyone has ever done for her (other than Fisher Tiger). He protected them; he kept their freedom alive.

As she tests him one final time; tests to see if he’s actually good, because she still can't make herself believe that a man can be trustworthy. She can't make herself believe that a * _man_ *, knowing their worst secret, would allow them to remain free.

(She is strong. She knows this, she knows she can protect herself and her sisters from this man, but she still can’t make that fear _go away._ )

And he passes. He, without hesitation, asks her to save her people, people he barely knows, over reuniting with his crew.

How is this possible?

How is it possible for a man to value the freedom of others over his own wants?

How is it possible for a man to be this _unselfish_?

She reverses the girls' petrification, ignoring their confusion. She sends them away, and buries her head in her hands, sobbing.

Maybe...maybe she can trust this one man with the truth.

Maybe she can finally trust a man to not rip her freedom away.


	9. vivi + silk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Alabasta

Vivi sits up in her bed, gasping as she snaps her eyes open. For a moment, she’s disoriented, expecting to see the wooden walls of the Merry and Nami beside her, sleeping soundly. It takes her a moment to process her actual surroundings – the stone and marble of her room in the palace.

She collapses back onto her bed, groaning as she closes her eyes and rubs at them. The recurring nightmare (cries of _Please stop fighting! Please stop fighting! Please stop fighting!_ echo in her ears, and she shudders, remembering the feeling of complete _powerlessness_ that was all-encompassing in that moment) still lingers, and she rubs her eyes harder, trying futilely to ward it away.

(She then remembers Luffy swooping in, saving her and giving her hope (for the thousandth time since they met.) She breathes a little easier. Everything’s okay now.)

She opens her eyes and stares at the ceiling, picturing the wooden ceiling of the ship that had been her home for months.

It’s been a couple weeks since she last saw her crew, and by the gods, she _misses_ them.

She misses Luffy – his ever-present optimism and bright laugh, lighting up her day more than anything else could.

She misses Zoro – his steady presence and endless faith – both in her and the captain he chose to follow.

She misses Nami – her undying smile and bright grin (and the way she could comfort Vivi more easily than anyone had since her mother died).

She misses Usopp – his constant ability to make her laugh with anything, a story always on his lips to comfort her when all she can think of is how far she is from home.

She misses Sanji – both his goofiness around her, and his never-ending kindness for absolutely everyone, always giving food with care and a smile.

She misses Chopper – his constant happiness and joy – always excitable, and always brightening up her day with a simple grin.

She misses the Merry – her consistent support, always supporting them and carrying them to their next destination.

She misses all of them so much, and even though she’s back in Alabasta, even though she has anything she could ever ask for – silk, jewels, food, comfort – it doesn’t feel like enough.

(Now, more than ever, she wishes she could have been _selfish_ and gone with her crew, her _family_.)

( _No,_ she tells herself firmly. _Remember your people. Remember your home. Alabasta needs you, now more than ever._ )

(Maybe if she tells herself that enough, she’ll be able to accept it.)

She sighs, rising from her bed and sitting at the window, staring out onto the never-ending expanse of sand that is Alabasta. She opens the window, letting the breeze soothe her face and ruffle the silk nightgown she is wearing.

(If she closes her eyes, she can almost believe she’s back on Merry, surrounded by her family, feeling the sea breeze on her cheeks as they laugh and love together.)

She opens her eyes, and sighs as she sees the sand still there (why did she think it might be any different?)

She buries her face in her hands, and out a sob, desperately trying to muffle it.

She may be surrounded by people – servants and soldiers and her father – but she has never felt more alone.


	10. sabo + burn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Dressrosa

The first thing the boy is aware of when he wakes up is _pain._

He cracks his eyes (no, eye, he can only see out of one eye, _why can he only see out of one eye_ ) open, and immediately closes it as the light in the room stabs it. He hears murmuring, and the light dims. He’s able to reopen his eye, and sees two people hovering over him.

One helps him sit up, and asks, “What’s your name, boy?” He thinks for a second, and comes up blank. He shakes his head as if doing that would remove the blank space from his memory, and the pain returns ten-fold.

“I don’t know…” He groans, clutching at his head (or attempting to). His left arm won’t move properly, the pain too much for him to handle. His right arm is caught gently and moved to his side. “You can’t touch, boy,” Someone reprimands, and he nods, lying back down.

He closes his eyes, and scrunches them as if that would help to bring his memories back. The absence feels huge, and he shudders, trying desperately to remember.

(He’s missing something important. He _knows_ he is. Why can’t he _remember?!_ )

The absence still remains. All he remembers is that he absolutely _cannot_ go back to where he came from (and that his name might be Sabo), and he _hates_ it, because part of him is screaming, _you can’t you can’t you_ can’t _leave,_ and he doesn’t know _why._

They sail away, and the absence of his memories _burns._

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first thing Sabo is aware of when he wakes up is _pain._

Sabo cracks open his eyes to see the faces of his two best friends hovering over him, relieved smiles spreading over their faces. He closes them again soon after, scrunching his eyes against the images that flit across his vision.

_Luffy…ACE…_

He sits up, and sees Koala starting to cry out of the corner of his eye. He jerks his head over, and sees her finally burst into tears, exclaiming her worries and fears. Hack tells him that he was passed out for three days, and Koala, mildly more composed, asks if he remembers everything. Sabo nods, and reassures them that he’s not leaving the revolutionaries.

He tells them that he needs to see Dragon, and they nod and leave the room, taking with them his orders to look for a specific fruit.

He groans, falling back onto the bed, scrunching his eyes shut and crushing his eyes with his hands. His memories (and god, why did he have to find out _this_ way?!) are overwhelming him, and he fights against the tears that threaten to burst out at the memory of his brothers.

(He _knew_ he was missing something important. He _knew_ it. Why couldn’t he just _remember?!_ )

Flashes of the brother he once knew flit across his vision, and a sob breaks loose, guilt overwhelming him. Ace is gone. Ace is _gone._ He’s never coming back.

God, _Luffy._ Luffy thinks he’s all alone. Luffy, the boy whose worst fear was (and probably still _is_ ) being alone. The boy who fought tooth and nail to _never_ lose _anyone._

(The boy who now thinks he lost both of his brothers.)

Sabo’s sobbing intensifies, and his guilt only grows as he remembers the times he spent with his brothers, wild and free, and compares them to now (broken, they’re all broken (or _dead_ )). He could have done something. He _should_ have done something. He just didn’t _remember._

He’s in the hospital, and though he has his memories, the hole formed in his heart from the loss of his brother _burns._


	11. law + feathers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Dressrosa

The first time Law saw a black coat of feathers after Cora-san’s death, he almost burst into tears right there.

It was only three weeks after he had lost Cora-san (his mentor, his _father_ ), and seeing that coat, his first thought was, _is that him?_ He had sprinted after him, not caring about appearances, only the echoes of his last words echoing in Law’s ears.

( _“I love you.”_ That was the first time since his parents and sister died, since _everyone_ who he cared about, loved, _knew,_ died, that he was loved.

And then it was ripped away.

Again.)

The victim had run, and run, and run, and Law had chased, and chased, and chased, until the man finally turned his face, and Law froze. The face was nowhere near the same, and Law turned without apologizing and promptly ran until there was no one around him.

Then, he sat, wrapping his arms around his knees and burying his face in them, trying desperately to fight his tears back.

 _Stupid,_ he scolded himself, _Stupid! He’s dead, you_ know _that! You_ saw _his dead body!_ But Law knows better than anyone that grief is not simple; it hurts, it tears you apart, and it never goes away. The logical part of him knew that this was not abnormal, but it still _hurt,_ seeing that random man in that random coat (but no, it wasn’t not random, it was familiar, _too_ familiar).

And so he sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed over the family that he lost and the father he barely got to know before he was ripped away from him.

Loneliness overwhelmed him even as he forced a blank mask onto his face, going back into town and buying the supplies that he needed. He boarded the next ship out, and forcefully pushed down any emotion that tried to escape. A single-minded goal formed in his mind, and he hid everything else away – his love, his grief, all of it.

He will kill Doflamingo, even if it kills him.

That’s all he needs.

( _ ~~Right, Cora-san?~~_ )


	12. dragon + justice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Sabaody

_“Always serve Justice, Dragon. It will never steer you wrong.”_

Of all the things that Dragon’s father has told him, this is the one that has stuck with him the longest. The first time he heard it, Garp had taken him to Marineford (Dragon was only five, so he hadn’t really understood what Marineford stood for. All he knew was that was where his dad worked (and left him alone for most of the year.))

Dragon had stood in front of the massive walls, staring with awe at the symbols staring at him in the face. Garp had laughed loudly, placing a hand on Dragon’s head and said the fateful words. At the time, all Dragon did was nod. After all, his dad served the Marines, and he always preached that he should serve Justice, so the Marines _must_ mean Justice, right?

Wrong.

At seven years old, Dragon witnessed his first execution. It wasn’t for much – a civilian had accidentally tripped a Marine captain. Garp hadn’t been able to react quick enough to hide the civilian’s head splattering across the pavement from Dragon’s – until then – innocent eyes.

At ten years old, Dragon witnessed his first slave ship. Garp had managed to notice in time to hide the worst of it, but Dragon had still been at the dock long enough to see a slave, whipped almost to death, being forced to cart the slave-owners’ belongings as they laughed and jeered beside them.

At thirteen years old, Dragon witnessed his first Celestial Dragon. Garp couldn’t get him away, this time. They were forced to kneel, and Dragon, witnessing the cruelty and darkness that the world had to offer; witnessing the way the Celestial Dragon shot an innocent bystander who didn’t (couldn’t, they were in a wheelchair, a fucking _wheelchair_ ) get out of the way in time and how his father could only kneel and stare at the ground, biting his lip to hide his anger, vowed then and there, _no more._

Dragon is going to seek Justice, sure. It will never lead him wrong, possibly.

But the Marines aren’t Justice.

So, at fifteen years old, Dragon sails away from peaceful Dawn Island, resolve in his heart.

He’s going to find his own Justice.

That way, no one will ever have to suffer the way those poor bystanders, slaves, _innocents_ , did. Ever. Again.


	13. baby 5 + want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Dressrosa

“So, what do you want to do today?”

Baby 5 looks up from her breakfast, staring at Sai (her _husband-to-be,_ what a concept) in shock. Her chopsticks fall out of slack hands as she, wide-eyed, looks at him. He looks confused at her reaction, but she is still stuck on the word _‘want.’_

She swallows nervously, saying, “What do I… _want_ to do?” Sai sighs softly, rising up and coming to sit next to her. He wraps an arm somewhat nervously around her (their relationship is still so _new,_ but Baby 5 is so used to men just taking, and taking, and taking, that Sai’s tentativeness – his seemingly genuine _care_ for her – is so _different_ to her), and Baby 5 leans into him.

“Yeah,” Sai says, “What do _you_ want to do?” He continues on, listing everything that’s an option for them, but Baby 5 hears none of it, mind casting back to-

_“Baby 5, I need you to do this.”_

_“It’s necessary that this gets done, Baby 5.”_

_“This needs to be done properly, Baby 5.”_

-She’s never gotten the option to choose what she _wants_ to do, just what others _needed_ her to do. And she was- is- _was_ fine with that! It was perfect, they’re happy while she feels that she has a purpose, that she’s _needed._ She had found her home – her family – with these people who needed her day after day, who _protected_ her (even when she felt she didn’t need it).

Then, Sai came, and turned her world upside down. Instead of it being, _I need, you need, she needs to do this, that, whatever,_ it’s-

“What do you want to do?”

“Where do you want to go?”

“Let me know if this is too much for you.”

-And suddenly, she’s faced with someone who actually _cares_ (she forcefully shakes away the thought of, _Doffy cared! Buffalo cared! They cared about me!_ Because really, she knows now that they didn’t. They never did.

And that _hurts_.)

Sai makes sure to never push her too far – to let _her_ set the pace and choose what they’re doing on any given day. He avoids saying words like _need_ and _necessary,_ and it means more to her than she’s ever going to be able to express.

She can try, though.

Baby 5 smiles, and shushes Sai as he continues talking of what they can do, laughing softly at the nervous look he always gets while talking to her. “Let’s just sit – watch the ocean and talk, maybe?”

Sai smiles at her and nods, taking her hand and leading her out onto the deck. She keeps pace with him, for once feeling like she’s _wanted_ , not needed.

And in that moment, she’s never felt more at peace.


	14. thatch + darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Marineford

Thatch has never been scared of darkness.

It just seems inconsequential to him, you know? For a man who has already seen the worst of the world – slavery, murder, cruelty beyond measure – darkness just doesn’t seem like it can compare.

No, he’s never been scared of darkness.

Yet, looking at this fruit, Thatch frowns as he contemplates why he feels so _repulsed_ by it.

It’s an innocent thing, purple with little spikes coming off of the swirly things decorating the outside and green leaf-like things decorating the top. There’s nothing there that should repulse him – nothing that indicates it’s not yet another innocent Devil Fruit.

(For some reason, the aura surrounding him reminds him of the _dark._ Not necessarily the dark that comes with the moon, but the dark that fills the most evil in the world – the dark that consumes, and consumes, and _consumes._

But, Thatch has never been scared of darkness, so he ignores it.)

He goes along his day, laughing with Ace, teasing Marco, getting teased by his Pops, cooking for his family, ignoring the lingering sense of _wrongness_ that emanates from the fruit that is sitting innocently to the side.

He waves everyone off as he walks back out onto deck, saying that he’s going to stay out for a little longer and consider whether he’s going to eat the fruit. His family indulges him, sending him out with laughs and slaps on the back as they all go to bed.

(The dark has never scared his family, either, and Thatch shakes away the dread crawling down his neck as he sits on the railing, looking out at the stars.

Now, he wishes he hadn’t.

The blade gleams in the light of the moon, and Thatch _screams_.)

No, he’s never been scared of darkness, he thinks as he lays on the deck in a pool of his own blood.

But perhaps he should have been.


	15. jinbe + wistful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Fishman Island

Jinbe has never thought of himself as wistful.

Driven, maybe. Defiant, possibly. Devoted, (especially towards his crew and family), definitely.

He can be proud of those words – they show he cares, that he can defend his family and friends and everyone he cares about.

(Depraved, dangerous, demonic – those might be words he would choose to describe himself as well.

He’s not proud of those ones.)

But now, looking at Luffy – at his despair at losing Ace (at Jinbe’s _failure_ to protect what he vowed to); at his realization that he still has his crew – still has his family, all he feels is wistfulness.

(He remembers his last conversation with Aladine before everything changed; before he sacrificed himself for his own justice, his own sense of what was right.

_“I don’t suppose I can stop you from this,” Aladine sighs, leaning against the banister and giving Jinbe a hard look. Jinbe sighs, turning away from watching the horizon and stares down his first mate (his brother-in-arms, his closest friend.)_

_“I’m not changing my mind,” Jinbe says firmly. He can’t, no, he_ won’t _fight against his Pops – against the person who has done so much for his people (for_ him _)._

 _Aladine sighs but strides forward, drawing Jinbe into a tight hug. “You’d better come out of that gaol alive, Jinbe,” he says fiercely. “We need you – you’re our captain, you won’t get replaced that easily. Fishman Island needs you,_ I _need you. You need to come back alive.”_

 _Jinbe nods, clapping his oldest friend on the back. “I’ll come back,” he vows, before jumping into the ocean, heading away from his crew, his people, his_ family.

 _He can only hope Aladine hadn’t been able to see the uncertainty in his eyes._ )

Looking at Luffy realizing that his crew is still there, Jinbe is struck by fierce wistfulness, fierce _longing_ to see his crew.

(The crew he had abandoned only for morals that didn’t make an impact in the end.

The crew he abandoned only to almost die.

The crew he abandoned only to _fail._ )

He wants to see them again. He _needs_ to see them again. His crew, his family – even though he let his father and Ace die, even though he _failed,_ he needs to see them again.

He can only hope that they’ll accept him back as their captain again.


	16. ace + struggle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Post-Marineford

Ace has never known life without struggle.

From the very day he was born – from the very _second_ he took a breath in this hell of a world – he’s been a sin.

Day after day, bar after bar, person after person; everyone has confirmed that for him.

(Even Dadan, the person who raised him, who’s the closest thing he’s ever had to family, tells him so.

 _It’s fine,_ he tells himself. _I don’t need anyone anyway._

Maybe, if he repeats it enough times, he’ll believe it.)

So, he struggles. No one will help him, fine, he’ll go on his own. No one will feed him, whatever, he’ll find his own food. No one will make him clothes, well, those thugs didn’t need them anyway.

(No one will love him; he’ll deny that he ever wanted love in the first place.)

He struggles for five years on his own (because, let's be honest, it only took until he could sit up before the bandits abandoned him (like everyone always has)), and he’s fine. It’s fine. He doesn’t need anyone.

(That doesn’t stop him from wishing that someone could help him – someone could take some of his struggles away from him.

He viciously crushes that desire down.

He doesn’t need anyone.)

And then Sabo comes along, and makes the struggles a little bit more bearable. He helps with hunting for food, he helps him find clothes that actually _fit_ him – he makes him a little less lonely.

Five years pass, and their relationship shifts until they’re more like _friends_ and less like _allies._ Ace likes Sabo – likes how he makes life a little less heavy.

(It’s still not love, though. Ace pretends he doesn’t care.)

And then, Luffy comes. Luffy, who chases Ace around the forest. Luffy, who Ace knocks down again and again and who keeps getting up. Luffy, who nearly _dies_ to protect a boy who doesn’t even _like_ him!

(Luffy, who is bright, joyful, _happy_ in a way that Ace never has been. Luffy, who seems like he’s never known what it’s like to not be loved – not to _love_ , fiercely and without shame.

He pretends not to want that love – to not need Luffy.

He’s struggled for this long on his own without love. He doesn’t need it now.)

(He should’ve known Luffy wouldn’t accept that.)

Suddenly, Luffy is a part of their little group. Suddenly, they’re doing things for _joy_ instead of necessity. Suddenly, Sabo is laughing more than ever before and Ace is finding it hard not to grin at every little interaction his friends (and still, Ace is a little bit in awe at the fact that he has friends) have.

(Suddenly, the weight of Ace’s struggles feels lighter than ever before.)

Then, they’re brothers, and Ace has never been more happy, more joyous, more _free._ He’s never felt this way before – this light as he faces the world with his brothers at his side.

(Maybe, just maybe, he can finally share the weight of his struggles with those who actually care about him.

Maybe he can let go of what’s been holding him back.

Maybe he can finally be loved.)

He lets go of his struggles, and laughs, wild and free, _loved_ , with his brothers at his side.


	17. buggy + “DAMN YOU SHANKS!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Return To Sabaody

“Dammit, Shanks!”

Shanks, that _bastard,_ only laughs at Buggy’s (righteous!) ire, his stupid laugh coming through the transponder snail, sounding like a broken kazoo (to Buggy, at least). “So, I guess you met Luffy, huh?” He manages to gasp out through his laughs.

“Met him?!” Buggy shrieks in rage, the memory of that utter _brat_ enough to enrage him once again. “Yes, I met him, and he’s the biggest little shit I’ve ever met! Other than _you,_ of course! I _cannot_ believe you gave Captain’s hat to that brat!”

Shanks simply laughs again, and Buggy is about ready to punch a bitch. Or Shanks, not that there’s much a difference.

“Isn’t he great?! The hat totally fits him, right?!”

“Great as in ticked my feet, kicked me in the balls, launched me across the sea to another island _, and_ insulted my nose?! Yeah, fucking wonderful, thanks. And he’s as _stupid_ as Captain Roger, at the very least, though I really don’t see what you see in him.”

Shanks lets out another raucous laugh before saying, “Luffy’s great, you just don’t see what I see~!”

“I think what you see is a load of _bullshit,_ Shanks!”

Shanks’ pout shows through the snail, and Buggy feels a surge of victory that swiftly exits stage left when Shanks mutters, “You probably deserved it, anyway.”

“I did _not!_ Your brat is just a little shit, just like _you_ were when we were younger!”

Shanks says brightly, “You were worse!” The sheer implication of that makes Buggy rear up, snarling at the snail.

“I was _not_ worse, you idiot! I bet Rayleigh-san would agree with me!” Shanks scoffs through his never-ending laughs, and Buggy really needs to design a snail with arms so that he can _strangle_ Shanks through the phone.

“Were too!”

God, is Shanks going to _ever_ grow up? “Was not!”

“Were too…you _big-nose_.” Shanks hangs up before Buggy can process what he just said, and Buggy stares at the transponder snail for a moment before screaming in frustration and punching the wall, ignoring the pain that comes from his poor hand.

“DAMN YOU, SHANKS!”


	18. ace + remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Post-Marineford

Pain.

Pain emanates from the hole in Ace’s stomach (and god, it’s the worst pain Ace has ever felt. There are remnants of magma still burning him, blood is pouring from it, he’s sore, he’s exhausted – it’s the worst state Ace has ever been in).

Yet, as he falls into his brother’s arms, all he can feel is _relief._ He made it in time. He saved his little brother.

He saved the only person who has made his life worthwhile.

Ace can feel Luffy’s trembling as he leans against him, and guilt fills him even as Ace clutches onto Luffy as tight as he can. He hates being the cause of Luffy’s pain – it always reminds him of that awful, awful day the bear attacked Luffy; of the blood, so much blood soaking into his back as he runs, his trembling brother on his back.

But, somehow, even as he chokes out an apology to his brother; even as Luffy shouts out his denials, despair filling every word; even as the pain in his back only grows and his consciousness fades, all he can feel is comfort.

He’s in the arms of the one who taught him love – how could he not feel safe?

“You promised me, _remember_?! You said you’d never die! Isn’t that what you told me, Ace?!”

And Ace-

He does remember. He remembers those terrible, terrible days after Sabo’s death – filled with anger and hurt and guilt at not _saving_ him (not even _trying to save him_ ). He remembers Luffy, withdrawn and quiet and heartbroken – three things that his little brother (bright, fearless, _happy_ ) should never be. He remembers that cliff – the wind blowing against their faces, the promise spoken above the tempest and how that was the _only_ thing that kept Luffy from collapsing.

(But-

Ace also remembers ten years of loneliness – ten years of nothing but hatred, of cruelty, of _you’re a sin, Ace_. He remembers Luffy, tracking him down again and again and _again_ and never letting up no matter how cruel Ace was to him. He remembers nights staring at Luffy, thinking, _what do you see? Don’t you know I’m the devil; that I’m the worst person you could try to know? What do you see in a sin; in a blot in the world that should never have been given a place in the first place?_

He remembers Luffy, bloody and broken, having defended a secret that Ace _never_ expected him to in the first place. He remembers Luffy, saying, _“Of course I do!”_ as if it were obvious when Ace asked him whether he should live. He remembers Luffy, day after day proving again and again that he _loves_ Ace – that he doesn’t care about his blood – that he deserves to _live._

He remembers how Luffy is the best thing that has ever happened to him.

Like hell he’s going to lose him.

Even if it means breaking the promise that had once pulled his brother together again.)

And as he speaks his last words, as he cries out his thankfulness, as he soaks in one last love-filled embrace from his little brother – he remembers the life he’s lived, and smiles.

He feels no regret as he falls to the ground, at peace at last.


	19. rayleigh + crown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Return To Sabaody

When Rayleigh first sees that the crown of the Pirate King has disappeared from their apprentice’s head, he is intrigued, to say the least.

Shanks has always adored that hat, he knows. He never let it out of his sight – always snapping at anyone dumb enough to insult it or attacking anyone who so much as touched it wrong. For him to have given it away – to a seven-year-old _boy_ at that – must mean this kid is really interesting.

(Part of him (the part of him that is still destroyed from his captain’s (his best friend’s, his _brother_ ’s) death) is upset Shanks had given it up so easily. He shakes that aside. The hat is- _was_ Shanks’, and it’s his decision for what happened to it.

Plus, he’s interested in this boy who impressed someone like Shanks - someone who had sailed with the Pirate King.

He wants to know more.)

Unfortunately, time is a thing, and he has to wait ten years for even a whisper of the boy who wore the Straw Hat that led him into trouble battle so many times. He waits, gambling and wasting his time away, for life to get _interesting_ again.

However, once those ten years have passed, it’s not a whisper Rayleigh hears from the so-called Weakest Sea. No, it’s a _roar._

Don Krieg. Arlong. Crocodile. Rob Lucci. Moriah. _Enies Lobby_ itself. Names that keep getting bigger and bigger get taken out by this pipsqueak of a man – and Rayleigh thinks, _well, I guess waiting those ten years was worth it._

He laughs in his prison cell as he hears the news of the Eleven Supernovas converging on Sabaody, and plots to escape right then and there. He can’t miss the arrival of the one he’s been waiting for these ten years, after all.

He figures he really shouldn’t be surprised when the boy shows up at the very auction Rayleigh was going to be sold at (he laughs at the thought; they couldn’t even _hope_ to contain him).

The Straw Hat sits like a crown on the boy’s head as he punches the Celestial Dragon, saving someone Rayleigh cares about deeply, and Rayleigh finds himself smiling as he knocks out everyone else in the building (except two other pirate crews – he’ll have to keep an eye on them as well).

He invites the man to his home, mind flashing back to the times where that Straw Hat had sat like a beacon on his captain’s head. He compares it to now, and grins wildly at what he sees.

He understands now, why Shanks had bet his arm and his hat on Monkey D. Luffy.

He can’t think of anyone better to wear the crown of the past Pirate King than the future one, after all.


	20. buggy + noise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Sabaody

Buggy jumps as someone sneaks around him, leaning on his back and reaching a hand around towards his face, and _pressing his nose?_ He whirls around in shock, arms flailing around him and smacking into whoever is behind him. He looks around and lays eyes on them, and groans as he realizes who it was.

“Dammit, Shanks, what the hell are you doing?!”

Shanks whines, rubbing his cheek where Buggy hit (Buggy feels pride at the red mark blooming on Shanks – serves him right for sneaking up on him (and pressing his nose – like, what the fuck?!)) Shanks pouts, saying, “I thought your nose would squeak when I pressed it!”

Buggy’s mind freezes for a second, because _what the fuck?_ “…Why the _fuck_ would you think my nose would squeak?!”

“Because,” Shanks is giving Buggy a look, like _Buggy_ is the dumb one, and he really does _not_ appreciate that. “All those toys – ya-know the ones with big body parts – all of them squeak when you press it! Your nose is big and red, like those clown toys, so I thought it would!”

“Well, you thought _wrong_ ,” Buggy spits out, glaring at Shanks. Shanks pouts for a moment, staring at Buggy’s nose as if it would provide a different answer.

“…It really doesn’t make a noise when you push it?”

Buggy groans in frustration and shoves Shanks away. “For the last time, _no,_ my nose does not make a squeaky noise when someone presses it! Now will you _please_ stay away from me?!”

“Shanks, leave Buggy _alone,_ ” Rayleigh says, looking exasperatedly at the two of them. Buggy smirks victoriously at Shanks, and he pouts before giving up, walking over to their Captain and whining something to him.

Roger seems to think contemplatively about something, staring at Buggy – which is _really_ uncomfortable, something about those stares always freaks him out – and says, “…I’m kind of disappointed it doesn’t make a noise.”

Buggy shrieks, throwing his hands up angrily and stalking away from the absolute _insanity_ that is the rest of this crew.

 _Why the fuck did I join this crew again?!_ Buggy vents internally, going to sit on the railing _away_ from all the crazies. He grips his nose, muttering, “Stupid nose,” as he squeezes it violently.

(He then flushes as a chorus of laughs echo behind him, revealing that it wasn’t much of a mutter at all.)


	21. ace + reminisce

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Post-Marineford

Ever since Ace had left that day, three years ago, he’s been a little worried.

He knows his little brother is strong – he’d trained with him, day after day, for seven years, of course he knows Luffy’s strong – but he can’t help but worry.

It’s the job of the big brother to worry, after all.

(Ever since that one time when Ace didn’t care enough – he just _left_ his brother to face the bear alone – Luffy almost _died._

He’s never letting that happen again.)

But, now, looking at Luffy – looking at the crew he’s gathered for himself – all Ace can feel is relief.

He reminisces about the days that all Luffy had done was follow Ace around – relying on him for every little thing – and feels a faint sense of bittersweetness as he realizes that those days are gone.

Luffy’s strong now. He’s able to protect himself and his friends, and he’s got a reliable crew to take care of him in turn.

No matter what happens, Ace knows they will take care of his baby brother.

He gives his brother his vivre card (fondness surges through him at the sight of the familiar confused look and head-tilt on his brother’s face), and departs, a smile on his face.

He destroys the fleet that was going to go after Luffy and his crew (he can’t resist the urge to show off a little bit – Luffy still is his little brother, after all).

After doing so, he turns back slightly, tilting his hat up and saying, “See you on the high seas, Luffy,” He eyes his brother’s ship, a soft smile making its way onto his face, before he turns, his worries set at ease at last.

The days where Luffy could do nothing but rely on Ace are gone. He’s got a really reliable crew, now.

He sails away in a burst of fire, the soft smile morphing into a grin as he pumps more fire into Striker, adrenaline singing in his veins as he goes faster and faster. One thought lingers in his mind as he continues on his mission.

No matter what happens, Luffy will be just fine.


	22. marco + hat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Marineford

The first time Marco sees that Straw Hat, it’s during one of the most terrifying moments of his life.

The Whitebeard Pirates had just made their first contact with the Roger Pirates, and seeing his father finally meet his match was terrifying to Marco at the time.

(Conqueror’s Haki had slammed into him, and it was only the support from the first mate of the Roger Pirates (which rankled his pride something fierce back then) that kept him from collapsing full-out.)

They had later partied the night away – Whitebeard and Roger having become fast friends somehow over the course of their fight – but it hadn’t stopped a lingering sense of terror from lingering with Marco, even as his father introduced them and Marco found out Roger was possibly the _stupidest_ person he’s ever met.

For years, whenever he saw _that_ hat on _that_ head _,_ no matter how much Marco knew he could trust the Rogers, all he could feel was bone-deep fear.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Many years later, Marco saw that hat and stopped still as he saw it atop not a tall, black haired captain, but a small, red-haired _menace._

Whitebeard and Roger were having one of their typical spats (Marco stopped being afraid of them years ago, though the lingering sense of fear remained), and Marco was hanging out to the side, watching with interest as they clashed for the who-knows-what time.

(He bet Rayleigh knew – the first mate of the Roger Pirates seemed like the type to keep track of absolutely inane things like that.

Sure enough, when he asked later, Rayleigh said, without pause, “This is their 158th ‘fight’.”

They both knew they’re _really_ not fights, anymore. Marco wouldn’t be surprised if his father and Roger would share with each other the largest treasure in the world, if there is one.)

His attention was drawn from the swiftly-coming-to-a-close fight when a whispered argument caught his attention at his side. He glanced down, and his eyes widened in shock as he saw the famous Straw Hat on Shanks’ head.

Sure enough, when he snapped his head over to the now-finished fight, Roger’s head was strangely bare of the Straw Hat (which was _really_ strange to the then almost-grown-up Marco – it was like if his father suddenly shaved off his mustache.)

(He shuddered at the thought, glancing fearfully at this father.

 _Cursed thought, Marco. Cursed thought._ )

(Ten, fifteen, twenty years later, Marco wonders if the Straw Hat carries with it not ungodly charisma, like he had once thought when he first saw it on Roger’s head, but ungodly _stupidity._

He decides on a vehement _yes_ as he sees Shanks, drunk out of his mind, attempt to kiss a rapidly-more-fearful Buggy.)

Now, instead of fear, Marco just felt a faint sense of dread and a much larger sense of _‘I’m going to need a fucking drink’_ whenever he saw that Straw Hat.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Twenty-two years after the first bearer of the Straw Hat dies, Marco meets the third bearer of the Straw Hat.

Watching, mildly baffled, as ‘Straw Hat Luffy’ falls out of the sky, Marco just thinks, _ah, so the stupidity carries on._ After all, nobody sane drops into a war from the _sky._

He is, however, impressed when Straw Hat proceeds to save his father (not that he needed saving, he and multiple of his siblings were right there. Plus, his father is strong enough to protect himself from a rip-off warlord like Crocodile), stand his ground against Whitebeard, declare he’s going to be Pirate King, and scream to the world how he’s going to save Ace all in one breath.

(His Pops orders him not to let Straw Hat die, and Marco responds, “Of course.” He had already decided that, anyway.

This kid is way too interesting to let die this soon.

No wonder Shanks had bet his arm and hat on this kid.)

The war goes on, Straw Hat proves himself more and more, Ace gets freed, promptly gets killed – and through Marco’s tears he sees the Straw Hat and thinks, _not yet. I can’t give up yet._ Even as Teac- _Blackbeard_ shows up, even as his father dies, even as Marco’s world _crumbles_ around him – the Straw Hat remains, and Marco continues to have a purpose.

Whoever wears that Straw Hat causes big change in the world. Marco knows that better than anyone.

Even if he weren’t Ace’s brother, that is enough reason to ensure Straw Hat’s survival.

The war ends not too long after (though with far too much bloodshed – thank god for Shanks showing up when he did (and that little Marine kid)), but during that time, the Straw Hat shifts from something that means _annoyance_ , that means _fear,_ to something else entirely.

Somehow, the Straw Hat has shifted to mean _hope._ Straw Hat Luffy had shown up, led the way forward, nearly saved his brother ( _no,_ Marco corrects internally as he sobs on the Red Force, _he did save Ace. Akainu ruined it._ ), and given the devastated Whitebeard Pirates something to focus on – a future to fight for.

Fear, then stupidity, then _hope_. Three completely different emotions, three completely different people; the same Straw Hat.

(After seeing that Straw Hat crown the Pirate King yet again, Marco idly wonders what emotions that Straw Hat will evoke in him next.)


	23. smoker + depths

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Dressrosa

When Smoker first joined the Marines, he didn’t believe there were any depths to pirates.

Pirates were bad.

Marines were good.

End of story.

And, for a while, that system of beliefs worked just fine for Smoker. He would train, learn, grow – day after day, the same cycle continued. He’d train to beat up the pirates that threatened the safety of civilians, learn about what atrocities pirates have committed, and grow as a person (his hatred for pirates would grow with him, as well).

But then-

(When Smoker became a captain, he was incredibly excited, though he didn’t let it show. He would finally be allowed to take charge – finally be allowed to bring the rotten pirates in the world to _Justice_.)

(If only it were that simple.)

Monkey D. Luffy.

AKA the biggest pain in Smoker’s ass.

At first glance, he just looks like a little kid – a bright, happy, full of life little kid.

And then he found out he took out all of the big names in East Blue – that he’s a _pirate_ , and Smoker’s thinking, _oh, great, another pirate. I guess I was wrong about him._

Except-

Over the course of the next few months, Smoker learns just how wrong he was about pirates. He refuses to believe it at first, but watching as the Straw Hats take out Crocodile, single-handedly saving thousands of lives, he is forced to reconsider his values.

The Straw Hats are not evil (the Marines are not always good).

Marineford further proves this, Punk Hazard pounds this in, Dressrosa rips his faith in the marines apart for good. Smoker is finally forced to accept the truth he had been struggling with all along.

Even if most pirates are pieces of crap, some of them have more to them than just that. And it’s the opposite with the marines – a lot of them are shitty, even if the majority try to do the right thing. Smoker knows this now.

(If he’s being honest with himself, he’s known it since he first heard about that Straw Hat saving the lives of innocents (even if that wasn’t his main goal.))

He knows now that pirates can have depths, after all.


	24. lucci + yarn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: This chapter is mildly inspired by a scene from Xomniac's (plus the rest of the Cross Brain's) fic This Bites! - go check it out, it remains one of my favorite fics, if not my complete favorite!!!
> 
> Spoiler Level: Water 7

“Lucci, I have a present for you!”

Kaku bursts into the bar, slamming the doors against the walls, and Iceburg sighs as yet _another_ dent in the wall is revealed. _I swear, my workers are way too good at causing property damage,_ Iceburg thinks exasperatedly. He shudders as he remembers the time he has asked Tilestone to install a window into his office walls – he had stepped on lingering pieces of glass for _weeks._

Lucci grunts (through his _pigeon_ – Iceburg had been suspicious of government agents infiltrating his company when the three had shown up, but _no_ government agent would _ever_ lower themselves to speaking through a _pigeon_ , of all things). Hattori syncs up with Lucci admirably as he says, “What is it?”

Kalifa looks up from where she’s cataloguing pricing for repairing the damage from the door ( _no,_ Iceburg corrects internally, _she’s predicting the next time we’ll have to repair something due to Kaku – if that’s accurate I’ll be impressed_ ). Kaku smirks as he walks closer, and Blueno drops his favorite drink in front of him before he returns to cleaning up.

“Oh, nothing much,” Kaku says, bringing a…ball of _yarn_ out of his bag? “Just this.” He tosses it over to Lucci, who _snaps_ his arm out to catch it, the sudden motion startling Iceburg.

“ _Pfft,_ ” Kalifa snorts beside him, and that seems to be the cue for her and Blueno to burst out laughing. Kaku watches with a smug grin as the other two absolutely _lose their shit_ over the bar, Kalifa having to lean over the bar to keep her from collapsing.

Iceburg looks confusedly as they continue losing their shit. _Am I missing a big cosmic joke or something?_

Lucci is glaring daggers at Kaku, and Iceburg watches as his arm twitches as if he tried to throw the ball of yarn away, but couldn’t make himself do it – and that sends the two into another round of hysterics, Kaku snorting as well into his drink.

“What’s so funny?” Iceburg asks, baffled as he stares at the growing anger on Lucci’s face. His confusion grows as Lucci finally manages to drop the ball, before he…whacks it away from him? _What the hell?_

Kaku finally loses his shit, placing the glass carefully onto the counter before collapsing over the bar, laughing his ass off. Blueno manages to get himself together enough to say, “Nothing you need to worry about, Boss.” He has a massive shit-eating grin on his face as he says that, though, so Iceburg doesn’t buy that it’s ‘nothing.’

Lucci glares at the three currently dying laughing, and says, “Ha, ha, very funny, you jerks.”

“You know, that would be much more threatening if you didn’t say that through a pigeon,” Kaku says cheekily, and Kalifa and Blueno lose their shit anew.

Iceburg watches, completely bamboozled, as his best workers continue their hysterics over the bar.

Well, whatever. If it’s some sort of inside joke, it’s none of his business.

(Two years later, he will remember this moment and curse violently, before remembering Lucci’s anger.

His new secretary watches, confused, as he collapses over his desk, proceeding to lose his shit.)


	25. sanji + cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Baratie

“ _Shit-_ ”

Sanji curses, barely avoiding dropping all of his groceries (which would be _really_ annoying, considering there are about 8 dozen eggs in there) as he trips. He scans the ground, momentarily confused as he doesn’t see what he could have tripped over.

Then, he jumps slightly as something rubs against his legs, looking down to find a cat rubbing up against him. The cat looks up, and _oh._

The cat’s pure black, but Sanji feels his heart melt as the kitty meets his eyes. Their eyes are bright blue, and they seem to pierce right to Sanji’s soul. The kitty meows – a cute, high-pitched thing – and Sanji falls in love right then and there.

He jerks his head around quickly to make sure none of his crewmates are around before dropping to his knees, placing the food to the side and tentatively reaches his hand out. The cat sniffs at him quickly before purring loudly, bumping their head against Sanji’s hand. He doesn’t know what sound he makes at that action, but he knows it had to be particularly undignified.

(He really can’t bring himself to care at the moment – none of his crewmates are around, he’s fine.

…Plus, this cat is _really fucking cute_.)

The cat then decides to climb its way into Sanji’s arms, clawing its way up until its laying across his shoulders. Sanji feels his heart melt even more as he brings a hand up to rub under the cat’s chin, and it purrs even louder and rests its head against Sanji’s – _god, this cat is so cute._

Sanji gingerly stands, bringing his groceries up with him, and walks carefully towards the ship. He’s really not ready to give up the simple comfort of having a cat utterly adore him.

…Maybe Luffy will be willing to have a ship pet (they’re capable enough to protect it, after all).

Sadly, it is not to be, as a man’s voice calls out, “Princess!” and the cat perks up, rubbing her face almost apologetically against Sanji’s before leaping down, running towards who Sanji must assume is her owner.

“Sorry about that,” the man says apologetically, scooping Princess up and cradling her. “She loves adopting strangers as her own.”

Sanji waves off the apology, saying, “Oh, it was no trouble at all.” The man grins, and waves farewell as he reenters the house he must have exited from.

Sanji watches the door for a moment before turning and continuing his journey back to the ship. His shoulders feel oddly light without the cat there, and Sanji finds himself missing her already (which is ridiculous – he’d known her for maybe half an hour?)

(Well, it took him about that long to get attached to Luffy, so he guesses that’s moot point.)

…He still thinks he’ll ask Luffy whether they can get a ship pet.


	26. pedro + chocolate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Whole Cake Island

“Oooh, is that a _chocolate_ bar?”

Pedro turns, looking down and grinning at the sight of Carrot, bright eyed and smiling, looking hopefully up at him. Carrot loves chocolate – always has, and always will – and whenever Pedro has a chocolate bar, she’s always on his case to share. Even if he’s across Zou, she always manages to track him down.

(Part of him marvels at the fact – she’s _ten_ years old, she should not be this good at tracking yet.)

Pedro says amusedly, “Yeah, here you go, Carrot.” He breaks off a piece (a large piece – much larger than he would give anyone else, not that he would ever admit it) and gives it to her, and she lights up, grabbing onto it with both hands and running off.

He stifles a laugh as she belatedly throws a thank you over her shoulder, chocolate already stuffed into her mouth, making for a laughably puffer-fished look. She runs off with her friends, and Pedro smiles at the sound of her laughter, carefree and bright.

(After Pedro lost everything – his eye, his life, his _friends_ – Carrot was one of the only people who could make things better. She didn’t understand what had happened, not really – but she managed to see through the mask he was just barely able to put up and comfort him in a way that only the small and innocent can do.

She’s got the best of all of them – happy, caring, smart, kind; she’s got so much potential and Pedro can’t wait to see who she grows up to be.

She’s going to be great. Pedro knows that much.)

He watches her, laughing and playing with her friends, and thinks of the little girl he had watched grow up – of the young woman he can imagine she will become in the future.

The Dawn of the World is yet to come, but looking at Carrot as she notices him looking and waves while smiling brightly, Pedro thinks he’s already found the Dawn of _his_ world.


	27. dadan + fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Post-Marineford

From the very moment Dadan first saw Ace, all she can think of is _fire._

At first, he was like a spark – small and new, but so very bright. She could tell, even then, that he was going to grow into something great, something _dangerous._ She didn’t need his blood to tell her that. It doesn’t matter where a spark starts from, anyway, only what they grow to become.

Then, as he grew, he burst into prominence – like a raging inferno, burning up everything around him with his anger, only growing as people fueled his hate. She tried to temper him, but he was unstoppable, growing and growing and _growing_ as time went on.

(She wondered if anyone was going to be able to stop him – would be able to keep him from destroying everything around him, and himself, in the end.)

And then, Luffy happened. She wasn’t looking forward to having yet another brat to control – god knows Ace is already too much to handle – but, somehow, Luffy managed to bring Ace down from a raging inferno – a wildfire that no one could control or contain or cherish (even though she found herself doing it anyway) – into a warm campfire.

Ace wasn’t controlled, not in the slightest (and at first, Luffy only fueled the inferno), but slowly but surely, Luffy was able to ease some of the anger, some of the heartbreak that had been the only thing Ace had known for all of his life.

(Dadan wished, sometimes, that she had had it in her what Luffy could do for Ace. She wasn’t not mother material, she knew that, and she never tried to be. It’s just not her nature.

But, seeing Ace on that cliff, pure anger masking the heartbreak of a boy who just wished for _someone_ to tell him he deserved to live – she wished she could have made a difference.

At least he has Luffy (and Sabo, too) now.)

Now, he’s warm (only to those close to him, though – a campfire only warms those who surround it and understand its danger (and love it anyway), after all). Now, his brothers find a home in his warmth; in the bright flame that no one used stand to be around. Now, he’s bright, and bold, and brave – all the things he had been as an inferno, but now he has people to hold him, to _love_ him – and it’s the biggest difference of all.

And then, Sabo dies. And then, it’s like a campfire in the middle of the woods – fighting to rant and riot and _rage_ – so Dadan has to restrain him. She feels no guilt in doing so. He would destroy everything (including himself) if she let him go, so she contains him, forcefully – because that’s the only way to contain a fire that wants to burn, wants to _destroy_.

Thankfully, his fire calms a little bit with time, and when she is able to let him run wild again, he finds Luffy – and returns, not quite a campfire yet, but a bonfire – still wild and hard to control, but manageable.

And then Luffy gets hurt, and he collapses into a small blaze – wavering and disbelieving in its own strength, in its _worth._ She watches as he beats himself up, saying he’s not _good_ enough and that he doesn’t deserve Luffy, deserve his _love_ – and feels her heart break just a little bit more.

But then, Luffy wakes up, and everything is fine. The campfire reemerges, surrounding his brother with warmth and care and making sure everything is safe – ready to burst into a wild inferno if anyone even _speaks_ wrong about his brother. He grows up, as bright and fierce as flickering flames – and she feels pride well up (along with her tears) as he sets off, ready to make his mark on the world.

And make his mark he does, blazing and burning a trail over the East Blue and the Grand Line – a bright flame that no one can burn out. She laughs, bright and bold, when she finds out he’s joined the Whitebeards, thinking, _now you’ve found someone that can stoke your fire – can make a home for your blaze._

(When she finds out about his execution, she wonders, trembling, if this is going to be when his flame finally burns out, suffocated and alone.)

At the very last moment, looking at that newspaper, all Dadan can think of through her sobs is how Ace looks, lying on the stone; how Ace has never looked more wrong, like an ember; a remnant of a blazing flame, burning out before its time.


	28. whitebeard + small

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Reverie

Of all the things Whitebeard has ever thought of himself, small has never been one of them.

For one, he knows he is almost always the largest body in the room. He knows it – he’s tall, he’s big, he’s massive. It’s simply fact.

His personality has always been just as mighty. Whether it was when he was on the Rocks, captain of his own crew, or even as a little kid, he’s always been the biggest voice in the room. He’s a leader; he’s the one his people look to for guidance (or, in the case of the Rocks, the one people look to avoid picking a fight with).

His strength, too, is something none would argue. He’s the strongest man in the world; he had friendly spars with Roger, had drinks with Garp, had days-long battles with Big Mom and Kaido. No one would doubt that he is the strongest of all.

Including him.

Yes, Whitebeard has never thought of himself as small.

And he never thought he would.

But, looking at the devastation marring Marineford – the blood, pooling everywhere the eye could see; the cervices and holes and burns in the ground; the people (his _children_ ), lying dead and wounded, scattered across any surface available – all he can feel is small.

(His son _died._ His son died and all he could do was watch because he _wasn’t close enough._ )

(He failed.)

He doesn’t feel large, watching Straw Hat break and his crew shatter around him.

He doesn’t feel mighty, watching as Marco sobs, barely being able to see Akainu through the tears pouring down his cheeks.

He doesn’t feel strong, missing half his face and watching as Kizaru and Aokiji continue bombarding his crew, his _children_ as they try desperately to hold their own; as he can’t help because he’s dealing with the one who _killed_ his _son_.

No, he feels nothing like that at all.

And even in death, leaving his mark on the world and kicking off the new era – knowing that this moment will be seen as one of the most important in the years to come – he still doesn’t feel the strength that somehow stills his body and keeps him from falling.

All he can think of is Ace, laying on the ground, so, so young.

All he can think of is the islands he’s leaving behind; the chaos and bloodshed that is likely to happen because he wasn’t strong enough.

All he can think of is his family, now fatherless, likely to be decimated by the enemies he’s leaving them to face.

And all he can feel is small.


	29. barto + autograph

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Dressrosa

“Can I have your autograph?”

Sanji turns and blinks at Bartolomeo, who is standing there, slightly hunched over and staring at his feet, shuffling them nervously while messing with something in his hands.

…He must have misheard him.

There’s no way Bartolomeo just asked him for an autograph.

 _No_ way.

“I’m…sorry? What was that?” Bartolomeo seems to hunch in more, shying away before sticking his arms out, revealing that what he had been holding was a piece of paper.

_Holy shit, he’s serious._

“I already got Luffy-senpai’s, Zoro-senpai’s, Usopp-senpai’s, Franky-senpai’s, and Robin-senpai’s, and I really want to get the rest of yours!” Bartolomeo says, and Sanji watches, disturbed, as his eyes turn into stars at the sole mention of his crewmates.

 _Wow,_ Sanji thinks blankly. _This dude is whipped._

_Why the hell not. I’ve done weirder._

He shrugs, saying, “You know what? Sure.” He quickly grabs the paper, scribbling his name before handing it back to Bartolomeo.

Who promptly breaks down sobbing, bowing at his feet and thanking him profusely.

“Thank you so much!” He blubbers, before crawling back to his feet and skipping away to…put it in a frame?

Yeah, he doesn’t even want to know.

He mutters, “How do you find all these people, Luffy?” After all, Luffy’s crazy and all, but the people he attracts are just downright _weird._

(He studiously ignores what that thought implies about him.)

He wipes his hands off after washing them, leaving the kitchen and heading towards the deck, where his crewmates are gathered. On the way there, he catches glimpses of a large crowd and hears faint…chanting?

He walks a little bit closer, and stops still as he sees Bartolomeo standing on a table and holding – is that his _autograph?_ – above him, which all of his cremates are bowing towards.

He promptly turns around and goes back to his kitchen.

 _I am_ not _dealing with this right now._

…He _really_ doesn’t want to know.


	30. sanji + worth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Whole Cake Island

All his life, Sanji has never _once_ felt he has worth.

_Useless, hopeless, disgrace, stupid, good-for-nothing, valueless-_

_Worthless._

That’s all he’s ever known – even before he was forced into that iron mask, never to show his face again; even before he was stuffed into a cage – never to be seen by the daylight again; even before he was shoved away by his sister – shoved away to the unknown because anywhere was better than the place he could never call home – where he was deemed _worthless._

And for a while, it’s better. He finds a crew that is relatively kind – they find use for him in cleaning and helping with cooking, and it’s nice. They laugh at him when he hesitantly shares his dream, but it’s okay because they don’t find him worthless.

And, then, the ship gets attacked, ransacked, and destroyed in less than half an hour.

On that rock, starving to death, he’s never felt more helpless, more weak, more _worthless._

 _Maybe this was meant to be,_ Sanji thinks, too exhausted to even raise his head from his knees as he stares out into the horizon. _Maybe I’m meant to have no worth for my whole life._

Eventually, they’re saved, and Sanji finds a way to feel useful, to feel worthwhile with the crappy old geezer that saved him (even if he still doesn’t get _why_ ). He cooks, and cleans, and serves, and does absolutely everything possible to repay this debt that he can barely carry the weight of.

( _Why? Why did Zeff save him? What_ worth _does he see in him?_ )

Time passes, and Sanji turns eighteen and joins a pirate crew – stronger, wiser, braver – but still so, so _useless._ He can’t protect the shitty restaurant from the pirates attacking. He can’t protect Merry from dying. He can’t protect his crew from being almost massacred on Sabaody.

He can’t protect _anything._

When will he stop being so _worthless_?!

Two years later, and Sanji’s stronger than ever. After going through that hell, he feels unstoppable. He’s never going to let what happened – seeing his crew disappear right before his eyes, dead for all he knows – ever happen again.

Except it does.

His past comes back to haunt him, and Sanji is _chained._ He’s back in the place where he’s useless, hopeless, disgrace, stupid, good-for-nothing, valueless-

 _No,_ he tries desperately to convince himself, hands gripping hair tight, “bracelets” digging into his scalp. _You’ve changed – you’re not worthless anymore._

But-

Seeing his captain on the ground, bloody and broken; feeling the sharp sting in his cheek – he knows what his father and brothers said is true.

He really is worthless, after all.


	31. makino + broom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Post-Marineford

“Makino-san!”

Makino turns at the call, and smiles at the sight of her favorite boys – all three of them are utterly filthy, but the bright grins allow her to disregard the injuries that she can see cover them. She simply waves them in, setting the broom aside – she can continue cleaning later.

The boys troop inside, tracking dirt and all kinds of things inside, and she sighs fondly, already knowing that she’ll spend the hour after they leave cleaning up after them. She doesn’t mind, though.

(She remembers the way Ace had looked when she first met him – he was already jaded, even at five years old. She remembers how he was heartbroken, not feeling loved, or wanted, or cared for – and remembers her heartbreak at not being able to change how he thought of himself, no matter how much she tried.

She remembers the way Luffy had been lonely, abandoned by his rarely-present grandfather; forgotten by the father he never got to know; shunned by the other kids in the village because he was ‘different.’ She remembers how Luffy was always bright, always happy – but also remembers how he would stare into his juice sometimes, and ask quietly if there was something wrong with him – if that was why no one wanted him.

She compares that to how Ace and Luffy are now – bright, happy, and free like she never thought she’d see them be. There’s none of that loneliness weighing down Luffy’s shoulders; less of that self-hatred crushing Ace (though, it’s still there – Makino vows internally that it will be gone by the time he grows up).

They’re much happier, now.

She’s glad.)

They sit at the bar, bickering over something or other, and Makino laughs fondly at Ace’s annoyance and Sabo’s snickers at Luffy’s petulant complaints as she prepares food for them. She hums softly, making up a tune as she places food in front of the three boys – which promptly disappears for Ace and Luffy, causing her to giggle.

Sabo’s the only one with relatively normal eating habits (and it really is relative – he still eats like a horse, it’s just that Ace and Luffy eat like full-grown dinosaurs), and he finishes a couple moments after Ace and Luffy set into their second serving.

(Sabo is a recent addition to Makino’s boys, but she loves him all the same – she can tell that he’s gone through just as much as her other boys have; maybe not in the same form, but he’s struggled, and she’s happy to open her heart to another boy who needs love; needs someone to rely on.)

The boys finish eating, and, throwing calls of, “Thanks, Makino-san!” over their shoulders, are gone the way they came – quick, and leaving an utter _mess_ behind them. Makino sighs, grabbing her broom to clean up, but fondness overwhelms her even as she begins the tedious process of sweeping all the dirt (and bugs, and how the hell did a _snake_ get tracked in with them?) out of the bar.

Nothing makes her more happy than seeing her boys happy.

And, since her boys seem to be happiest utterly filthy and dragging dirt everywhere, well, who is she to judge?


	32. marco + strength

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Marineford

Marco’s the big brother.

For almost all the time he’s been with his crew, he’s been the leader, the guider, the protector.

The big brother.

He doesn’t mind – he loves it, really. (Even if it can get annoying, sometimes.) He’s the one that his younger siblings come to when there’s an inner dispute. He’s the one his younger siblings come to when they’re antsy for a fight and, “Isn’t there anyone nearby we can fight, Marco?” He’s the one that his younger siblings come to for guidance – whether it’s for sparring, for paperwork help, even for dating.

(He’s never dated anyone in his _life._ Why do his siblings seem to think that he knows anything about this?)

And sometimes, it’s impossibly difficult. When their territories started getting massacred more and more often as the Pirate Age raged, his siblings came to him for advice. When Pops first started getting sick, his siblings came to him for reassurance. When they lost the former second-division commander, his siblings came to him for comfort.

The weight on his shoulders is heavy. But he carries on.

He’s the big brother. He has to be strong.

He has to be.

But, now, feeling the body of Thatch (his best friend, his _brother_ ) cool under his hands; hearing Ace’s disbelieving cries as he collapses beside Marco; seeing his family gather and cry and break around him, for the first time, he really wishes he wasn’t the big brother.

(If he wasn’t the big brother, he could cry; wail; scream about the loss of his family.)

But, instead, he calmly orders Thatch’s body be taken away. He wraps a gentle arm around Ace’s shoulder, murmuring comforting nonsense in his ears ( _No, it wasn’t your fault, of course it wasn’t your fault, shh, shh_ ). He feels himself breaking along with everyone else, but shoves it back down, providing strength for his family to cling onto.

He has to be strong.

Because he’s the big brother.

He can’t break.

(Not yet.)


	33. vivi + lungs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Alabasta

Vivi’s lungs _hurt._

She’s been yelling for what feels like hours now, there are spikes of pain shooting through her temples, there’s blood pooling in her throat from how raw it is – it’s the worst she’s ever felt.

But she can’t let herself stop.

Those are her people down there. Her _friends_. They’re fighting – they’re all fighting and hurting and killing each other. She has to stop them. The bloodshed _has_ to end.

(What makes it even more painful, somehow, is that she can’t blame either side. What else could she expect the Rebels (expect _Koza_ ) to do when they thought corruption had seeped into her father’s core and poisoned the country? What else can she expect the Royal Army to do when there are soldiers charging their home and threatening it?

What else can she expect but this all cumulating with death and suffering?)

So, she screams, and screams, and screams. Even as she spits up blood, even as she almost passes out due to the lightheadedness and pain assaulting her, even as her lungs ache and ache and _ache_ , she keeps screaming.

Every time she wants to stop, every time she considers it for even a _second_ , she remembers her bond with Koza; all the moments laying on the ground and staring at the sky, telling stories. She remembers Chaka, and Pell, and her father, and how they raised her to never give up; never give in.

She remembers her crew, and how they believe in her – how they will never let her down.

They’ll do their part, and she will do hers.

Resolve straightens her shoulders, and Vivi, reaffirming her stance, continues yelling, and begging, and _pleading_ for her people to stop killing each other.

She won’t let herself stop.

If she stops screaming, it’ll be when she’s dead, or when Crocodile is defeated and her people are safe.

Not a moment sooner.


	34. sabo + dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Dressrosa

Sabo dreams, sometimes.

Dreams of running, wild and free, through a blurred-out forest with faded-out senses and smudged-out faces running alongside him. Dreams of laughter, high and joyful, ringing in his ears. Dreams of happiness, pure and sweet, flooding through his veins and making him smile more than he ever thought possible.

Here, he’s not alone – he can’t quite make them out, but he knows they’re there: two people he would do absolutely _anything_ for. Here, he’s smiling, and laughing, and beaming more than he ever has. Here, there’s happiness, and joy, and fun, and endless, endless love.

Here, he’s free.

But, like all dreams, they have to end.

He wakes up.

Every time he wakes up from these dreams, overwhelming despair crushes him – as if he’s lost something important, vital, _integral_ to his very soul. He feels forsaken, abandoned, _alone_ for reasons that he can’t even begin to parse.

He feels forgotten.

He can’t even begin to understand why the very thought makes him want to sob harder than he ever has.

But they’re just dreams.

They’re not real.

So Sabo pushes the feelings aside, forces the dreams down, and moves along.

It takes him until ten years after the first dream to realize that he was wrong (so very, very wrong.)

They weren’t dreams, after all.

And Sabo cries.


	35. roger + world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Return to Sabaody

Roger’s always wanted to sail the world.

Ever since he was a boy, he’s wondered.

Wondered what all the islands of the world hold – the mysteries that he could discover and solve; the people he could meet and either become friends with or hate on sight; the amazing creatures and creations he could see.

Wondered what the depths of the ocean hold; what the beautiful voice calling to him from the depths is singing to him.

Wondered what the skies hold – whether the stories he heard are true of islands and oceans and animals in the sky are true.

That’s the real reason he became a pirate – that and freedom, of course. He wants to see the world, see all the wonderful, crazy, exciting things that make up the Blues, the Grand Line, the New World.

He wants to see all the oceans, all the wildlife, all the islands, all the people. He wants to _know_ everything – know all the mysteries, all the triumphs, all the failures. Not to conquer – no, he doesn’t want that at all.

Conquering is the antithesis of freedom – why would he ever want to do that?

He just wants to see the world. He wants to know everything. He wants to fight everyone he possibly can- be as strong as he possibly can be. And he wants to turn the world upside down with that strength, with that knowledge.

And for that, he needs a crew.

Recruiting this random dude hanging out in a nice boat seems like a fine start to him.

He readjusts his hat, shoulders his pack, and strides over to the man – to begin the journey that will turn the world upside down.


	36. jinbe + justice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Post-Marineford

During the time Luffy was unconscious, fighting for his life and stiller than a man like him has any right to be, Jinbe knew that when he woke up, Luffy was going to be more devastated than anything Jinbe could ever imagine.

(He still could have never predicted this.)

“Me, become King of the Pirates?! I’m…so _weak_!”

Luffy’s screaming, and crying, and tearing himself apart, and all Jinbe can think about is how heartbreakingly _young_ Luffy looks.

(Ace was only twenty. He deserved so much more than what he got.)

(They’re both so _young_.)

In that moment, his eyes are big, and red, and teary, and he’s rubbing them raw as he screams to the heavens, and he looks so much younger than his seventeen years. Jinbe hasn’t seen such devastation, such pure heartbreak, since Tiger died.

(Maybe not even then. They all weren’t in the habit of showing their emotion as freely as Luffy does, after all.)

(Jinbe’s never met someone as driven, as confident, as _willful_ as Luffy is. Ever since he saw him in Impel Down; standing tall even as blood coated his skin, even as he looked skinner and more exhausted than Jinbe thought possible, Jinbe’s known Luffy will be great.)

“ _Fuck!_ I’m so weak! I couldn’t protect _anybody_!”

(Loss can bring down even the greatest of people. Jinbe knows that better than most.)

Jinbe looks at Luffy, collapsed on the ground and doubting his strength – doubting his right to pursue his _dream_ , all Jinbe can think is-

How is this justice?

How is it Justice, when one of the kindest, strongest, most _good_ men in Jinbe’s life is dead? How is it Justice, when a friend, savior, _brother_ , is killed solely due to who their parents were? How is it Justice, when someone who fights so intensely for those he cares about, loves so freely, so deeply, is left on the ground, utterly broken?

 _It isn’t_ , Jinbe thinks as he watches Luffy throw himself around, killing himself slowly. _It isn’t justice._

None of this is Justice.

The Government isn’t Justice anymore (if it ever was).

Justice isn’t the killing of men just for who they were born to. Justice isn’t the merciless focus on killing anyone who calls themselves “Pirates” just due to the jolly roger they fly as slave owners live their lives as if nothing is wrong. Justice isn’t the destroying of crews, of families, for nothing but the pride of the Marines.

No, this isn’t Justice.

But nothing can be done now that Justice has yet again failed, and Jinbe watches as Luffy cries.


	37. momo + sky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Wano

“Momo! What’re you doing?”

Momo startles slightly in shock as Luffy drops abruptly beside him, crouching precariously on the railing next to where Momo perched. Momo doesn’t quite know what to make of Luffy – he seems nice, and saved him, so Momo guesses he can trust him.

“Are you cloud-watching?” Luffy asks excitedly, peering upwards, and Momo confusedly tilts his head up to the sky, where little cloud-formations are floating around, dotting the bright blue with shapes and blobs.

Momo asks, baffled, “Cloud-watching?” And Luffy jerks his head over to Momo, looking so shocked that Momo has to stifle a laugh.

“What, you’ve never done cloud-watching before?!” Luffy says, scandalized, and Momo can’t hold in his snickers anymore even as he defends himself.

“I am a _samurai_ , we don’t do mundane things such as _cloud-_ watching, so- _Hey!_ Put me down!”

Momo yelps in shock as Luffy scoops him up – he’s not a _baby_ , this is _embarrassing_ – and settles on the grass deck, laying down and manhandling Momo so that he’s laying with his head on Luffy’s chest. It’s…nice. Luffy’s warm, and his arm wrapped around Momo’s shoulder feels comforting.

(It almost reminds Momo of his fami- _no, no, don’t start thinking about that, don’t think about fire, and smoke, and loss, don’t-_ )

Momo forcefully distracts himself by frowning at the sky, taking in the shapes float across it (the shapes that he hasn’t been able to see for as long as he can remember).

Momo shudders as he remembers smoke and fire, blocking out the sky on the night he lost everything; remembers pollution, thick and grey, coating the sky that used to be so, so clear; remembers walls, dull and cold, caging him in.

“Doesn’t that one look kinda like a fish?” Luffy asks, ripping Momo out of his memories. He’s gazing up at the sky, a small smile on his face. Luffy seems strangely…peaceful, like this, which is not a word Momo thought he’d ever associate with Luffy. Momo gazes back at the sky, and is suddenly struck by how _clear_ it is – no smoke to block out the sun, no pollution to make it hard to breathe, no walls trapping him in.

“Yeah,” Momo says softly. “Yeah, it kinda does.”

Luffy laughs, bright and cheerful, and Momo smiles tentatively, hesitantly allowing himself to indulge himself – to let himself be a kid, for once.

The day is bright, the sky is beautiful, and Momo is free.


	38. shakky + bet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Sabaody

“Monkey D. Luffy, huh?”

Shakky hums contemplatively as she looks over her husband’s shoulder, the wanted posters that had come earlier in the day in Rayleigh’s lap as he holds up the sole wanted poster that had caught his attention. There are a few others that Shakky glanced at when they first arrived (Trafalgar Law’s causing some chaos in North Blue – she’s interested in seeing where he goes).

However, the one person she bets will go far is the smiling, bright young man that Rayleigh is currently looking at contemplatively.

“So this is Shanks’ brat,” Rayleigh mumbles thoughtfully, and Shakky remembers that day, almost ten years ago now, where Shanks had come in and raved about the boy he bet everything on.

_“Rayleigh, I was truly surprised!” Shanks says, gesturing wildly with his sole arm (and still, Shakky can’t get used to the unnatural absence on Shanks’ left side). “In East Blue, there was a kid who said the same thing as Captain Roger…the same words as the Captain!”_

Ever since that day, Rayleigh’s been waiting – waiting for the next man who will “turn the world upside down,” in his own words. Shakky’s been waiting, too. She knows anyone who Shanks bets his arm on – bets his captain’s hat on – will be someone to behold.

Shakky takes the wanted poster from Rayleigh’s hands as he chuckles, throwing his drink back and grinning excitedly. Shakky’s blood sings with that same excitement, and she smiles.

“What kind of storm will you create, Monkey D. Luffy?”

She bets it will be something great.


	39. tama + secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Wano

“Shh! We have to be _quiet_!”

Ace laughs softly, but quiets, indulging his little friend as Tama tip-toes slowly through the encampment where his crew is sleeping (he has no doubt that his crew is awake, but they’re all awfully fond of this little spitfire – they’ll listen to her and stay quiet).

She whispers, “We’re going to my _secret place_ , so you can’t tell _anyone_!”

“Aye-aye, captain,” Ace says teasingly, ducking under a branch as they enter the forest. The giggle she lets out is high and joyful, and Ace smiles softly.

(She reminds him so much of his little brother – innocent, sweet, _happy_ , despite everything. He admires her; staying happy in a place like this cannot be easy.

He wants, so bad, to take her pain away from her; to make this a place where she can eat every day.

He hates that he’s not strong enough, yet. He hates that he’s hopeless, yet again, to help someone he cares about.

He will be eventually – he _swears_ that he will make it so she will never starve again.

However, in the meantime, he can at least make her as happy as can be.)

They emerge into a cove, and Ace can’t hold in a soft gasp of wonder as he takes in the beautiful sight in front of him.

There aren’t many beautiful places in Wano – the flower capital is gorgeous, of course, but the sky, and the horizon, and the waters, are all polluted. With oil, with poison, with greed; everything is corrupted, so, so different than the beauty some of the elders have waxed poetic about, the only beauty found being the glow of the sun through the smoke that manages to be beautiful, despite everything.

Yet, this cove manages to defy Orochi’s desires. The sea is calm, and the sky, though not perfectly clear, has the moon shining through as if defying the very notion that it could be hidden away. The sand is soft under Ace’s bare feet, and Tama, smiling brightly, giggles as soft waves wash over her ankles, as if welcoming her home.

She takes a seat, uncaring of the water soaking into her kimono, and Ace settles beside her, leaning back on his hands and gazing out into the horizon, for once visible through the ever-present smoke suffocating the island. “It’s beautiful,” he says softly, and Tama breaks out into a wide smile, nodding in agreement, before pausing, her smile dimming slightly.

“I have to keep it secret, or else Orochi’s people will take it away from me,” she says, worrying her lower lip as she stares at her feet, starting to pucker in the slowly-ebbing water. Pure hatred spikes through Ace – fuck, why can’t he be _strong_ enough to take this pain away?

…Well, he may not be able to take it away permanently, but he can at least make it disappear for a bit.

“I’ll keep it secret, I promise,” he says softly, and Tama startles a little in shock as Ace wraps an arm around her shoulders, drawing her closer as he holds his other arm out in front. “Here, watch this.”

Her gasp as he releases his fireflies is music in his ears, and Ace smiles softly as Tama’s eyes widen, bright and joyful. The flames cast a soft glow on her face, and it relieves Ace to see the fear and worries melt slowly off her face. Wonder shines in her eyes as Ace concentrates, making the flames change colors and float into patterns, creating pictures of animals, and places, and people; painting joy and freedom in the sky. The smoke, pollution, poison is forgotten in favor of the flames, flickering and bright, shining on Tama’s face, and he grins.

He’s missed the feeling of making someone, young and alone, laugh and smile.

He vows to himself, then and there, that one day, she will constantly smile like that, bright and free. Every single day, she’ll laugh and grin and cheer, belly full and ribs covered once again, fear forgotten to the grips of time.

He _swears_ it.


	40. inazuma + light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Impel Down

Impel Down is dark.

It’s dark, and cold, and dreary, and seems to leech every instance of happiness from everyone who is unfortunate enough to find themselves there.

Level 5.5 is no different.

It may seem that way at first – there’s colors, and performances, and people of all types and personalities – but it’s a front.

No one is truly happy down there, not really.

Inazuma tries. Ivankov tries. Everyone tries so, so hard to make the suffocating darkness of Impel Down a little bit brighter.

But, when a scream rings out through the surveillance systems, permeating the aura of hesitant happiness with fear and terror, they know they’ve failed.

There’s only so much fun you can have when people – fellow human _beings_ – are being tortured and killed all around you.

So, the residents of Level 5.5 wait, and wait, and wait for the day to come where they can finally escape to the light.

And one day, he comes.

Monkey D. Luffy. Pirate Captain. Supernova. Known to be one of the craziest bastards of the Great Age of the Pirates, he is a force of nature – a force to be reckoned with.

Inazuma didn’t predict that he would be this crazy.

Sneaking through Level 1, fighting through Level 2, escaping in Level 3, _not_ escaping in Level 4, being rescued and carted around by a friend in Level 5 – it’s a tale of victory, and triumph, and failure, and loss. It’s a tale that enthralls Level 5.5; performances stopped and drinks flowing as they cheer, and laugh, and groan, and weep at the courage and strength the young man in front of them is showing.

It’s a tale that is about to come to a close.

Monkey D. Luffy, chained. Bleeding and broken. Dying.

His light, almost snuffed out.

(Just like any other light that somehow finds its way into Impel Down.

It never lasts.

Nothing good _ever_ lasts.)

Hearing the screams of the one person who’s brought light to Impel Down, Level 5.5 is dark. Downtrodden and discouraged. Kicking themselves for ever hoping anything good could ever last in the impenetrable prison.

And then, Straw Hat’s friend wakes, stands up, and starts cheering.

Slowly, hope starts to return to the hearts of Level 5.5, and they stand side-by-side, yelling and shouting alongside him.

Hope is fleeting in Impel Down. Light is snuffed out once spotted; suffocated once seen.

Positive feelings such as hope and lightness never last.

Yet, Straw Hat Luffy manages to bring light, bring _hope_ , to this dreary world that the residents of Level 5.5 have been suspended in.

Inazuma wonders if he can truly survive, and bring light back to the hearts of Level 5.5 once again.


	41. law + loud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Dressrosa

It’s been two hours since Law has set foot on the Thousand Sunny, and he can already feel his sanity slipping.

The Straw Hats are absolutely _crazy_. The only three relatively normal members (and _normal_ is really relative – one of them has five hands at the moment, one of them is a skeleton, and the other is a cyborg – there’s nothing remotely _normal_ about that) are reading, writing, and tinkering respectively.

And then, there’s the _batshit_ members.

The Pirate Hunter is lifting 5-ton weights with an ease that is insulting to any body-builder out there, trading barbs with an increasingly agitated Black Leg. Who just threw a salt-shaker at Pirate Hunter. Who caught it in his mouth.

Law is grudgingly impressed.

He’s less impressed when he proceeds to bite clean into it, much to the ire of the cook.

_Why? Just…why?_

Shaking that event from his mind, he observes the Cat Burglar counting money with a creepy grin on her face, (it cannot be healthy to be _that_ obsessed with money). Straw Hat and the tanuki are playing a mockery of tag (seriously, tag should _not_ cause them to be falling into the water every two minutes). Sniper King is mixing chemicals together that are making increasingly concerning popping noises- aaaand it exploded.

Shocking.

(Why the fuck did he decide allying with these guys would be a good idea?)

(Oh, right. Because he doesn’t have his crew, and he needs to defeat Doflamingo.)

The reminder of his crew sends a pang through his heart. He would normally shove it back down – emotions and attachments are useless right now; he’s pursuing a murderer, a _betrayer_ , after all – but he can’t quite manage it.

(It’s just that-

It’s so _loud_ here. On the Polar Tang, sure, there were machines whirring softly, and arguments breaking out between his crew members, and instructions being yelled during the many times a current sweeped them up and took them who-knows-where, but…

It wasn’t the pure chaos that encompasses every part of the Thousand Sunny. It was Bepo, always offering some peace for Law whenever he needs it. It was Shachi and Penguin, always arguing, but always knowing when Law’s memories were overwhelming him and knowing how to distract him. It was Jean Bart, always ready to square up against whoever was causing Law pain.

It was _home_.

But none of them are here.

And that _hurts_ , more than Law would like to admit.)

The Straw Hats are crazy, and lively, and just a _little_ fun to be around.

But they’re not his crew.

(He didn’t think he’d miss them this much.)

Law, sitting near in the crowded grass field on Sunny, lays his head back against the mast and closes his eyes.

He’s surrounded by people, but, overwhelmed by the chaos that are so far from what he calls _home_ , he’s never felt more alone.


	42. rebecca + dress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Dressrosa

“And…there! All set!”

Rebecca gives a grateful smile to the tailor, who gives a grin in response and packs up their things, leaving the small house with a wave to her father. Rebecca turns away from the door, stepping forward until she’s standing in front of the mirror.

She almost doesn’t recognize herself.

She runs a careful hand down her front, the soft silk of the brand new dress soothing under her fingertips. The contrast is stark; smooth, silky fabric against the rough calluses of her fingers. It feels good, and Rebecca almost can’t get enough of the silken feeling, running a tentative hand up and down her stomach.

She jumps as a weight comes down on her shoulders, but relaxes as she registers the familiar hands, rubbing soothing circles into the tense muscles along her spine, and looks up to meet her father’s eyes in the mirror.

Kyros smiles, a tender look in his eyes as he takes in the bright yellow, frills creasing up and down the smooth, soft dress. It flares out around Rebecca’s feet, the fabric brushing gently against her shins as she turns, spinning and letting the skirt spin with her. She giggles at the feeling, her father chuckling behind her as he takes her hand, twirling her around and around and around.

“You like it, then?” He asks, lips turned up into a soft smile as he twirls her around one last time, stopping her when she faces him. She beams, nodding quickly.

“I love it! Thank you so much!” Kyros laughs fondly, and Rebecca launches herself at him. He catches her easily, enveloping her in the embrace that she’d only gotten to know recently, but means safety, means home, means _love_.

She releases him after a moment, turning back to look into the mirror, and smiles brightly, wiping quickly at the tears pricking at the corners of her eyes.

With her father, in this dress, she’s never felt so beautiful; never felt so _free_.


	43. kaku + wish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Water 7

“Alright, that’s all. Dismissed.”

Kaku sighs and stands at Lucci’s words, stretching sore muscles and exiting from the room he and his comrades had been meeting in. They’d been sitting there for _far_ too long, ironing out last-minute plans for the operation they’re carrying out tomorrow.

Kaku enters his room and sits heavily on the bed, resting his elbows on his knees and burying his face in his hands.

They’ve been waiting for this day for five years, and Kaku has never been less excited to wake up the next morning.

He should be excited, he knows. He finally gets to go back to Enies Lobby – back home, after all. He should be over the moon.

But he isn’t.

Instead, he’s thinking back on the memories from the past five years; thinking back on the memories he’s made. With Paulie, snarky and sassy but fiercely loyal to those he cares for; with Tilestone, goofy and happy, always willing to crack a joke to make Kaku laugh; with Lulu, a constant, calm presence that never fails to make Kaku relax.

With Iceberg, who saw Kaku and accepted him for all that he is, never wanting him to be any more than _himself._

He doesn’t want to betray these people. They’re Kaku’s friends, his _family_. He wants to stay here and continue snapping back and forth with Paulie, continue goofing off with Tilestone, continue sitting with Lulu and enjoying a nice lunch together. He wants to keep being Iceberg’s friend.

He wants to keep being a part of the Galley-La family.

But, he isn’t allowed to want.

So, he closes his eyes, falls asleep, and dreams of the family he’s about to throw away.


	44. aokiji + warmth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Post-Enies Lobby

Laying on the ground in front of the Straw Hat Pirates, Aokiji is…curious.

When he had first seen Nico Robin emerge into notoriety again for the first time in a few years, he was resigned to the fact that he had saved a woman destined to be heartless. Destined to be deserted, destined to be alone.

Destined to be cold, dark, condemned.

He expected nothing different than the same old strategy of catching a ride with the strongest group around and then leaving them to crash-and-burn that Nico Robin had stuck to for two decades; that Aokiji’s determined to end right here, right now.

He didn’t expect this.

Monkey D. Luffy. Up-and-coming rookie, with no accolades to his name, other than the defeat of various small-time villains and the weakened Crocodile. A man who has absolutely no chance against a man of Aokiji’s caliber and who Aokiji could defeat (quite literally) in his sleep.

A man who is now standing protectively in front of Nico Robin, glaring at Aokiji with a ferocity that surprises him. He’s got an arm stuck out to the side, keeping Nico Robin behind him, and demanding Aokiji leave her alone.

Aokiji’s mildly shocked. They couldn’t genuinely care about Nico Robin, could they?

All she does is use people. Surely, they’ve realized that.

 _No_ , Aokiji realizes as he fends off their attacks with ease and freezes Nico Robin with a casual “hug.” That’s true desperation in the Captain’s voice as he orders his crew to save her from getting crushed. That’s pure joy in the celebrations of said crew after they save her. That’s pure determination in the Captain’s posture as he demands a solo fight against Aokiji.

_They do truly care about her._

As Aokiji defeats the Captain with an ease only someone of Aokiji’s strength can achieve, Aokiji considers what may happen, if Nico Robin sticks with this crew for much longer.

They’re going to get attacked for her, he knows.

But, it doesn’t seem like they’ll care in the slightest.

They’re determined to not give her up.

Aokiji sighs, leaving the Captain alive (so that he’s not killed by said Captain’s grandfather when he returns to Headquarters – Garp is terrifying enough when he’s _not_ angry, thank you very much), and leaves for Marineford.

Maybe, he was wrong, believing that Nico Robin’s been doomed since he saved her, all those years ago.

Maybe there is a chance Nico Robin could be filled with warmth again, after all.


	45. cora + quiet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Dressrosa

Rosinante sighs silently, finally slowing to a stop, the rough tree trunk a welcome break from the running as he slides down it, landing heavily in the bark.

Yet another bust.

Yet another burnt down hospital.

(Yet another day of Rosinante’s unwitting kid having to relieve the worst days in his life, because no one will be decent and _treat him_.)

Law, wan and worn out, had finally fallen asleep sometime during their frantic run from the hospital. He’s snoring quietly against Rosinante’s chest, but his face is twisted, lips pursed so close that they’re white and hand clutching tightly at Rosinante’s coat. Rosinante’s heart clenches at the faint whimper that Law lets out as Rosinante readjusts slightly.

The forest around them is quiet.

 _Good_ , Rosinante thinks, glancing down at the kid nestled in his lap. _Law needs it to be quiet._

Not that Rosinante couldn’t make it so if it were loud, but Law needs calmness, needs _peace_ in order to recover even a little bit from the ordeals he’s been put through.

(Rosinante takes a deep, calming breath in and lets it out, slow enough that his chest starts to burn.

Anger is not helpful right now.

The hospital got what it deserved, anyway.)

Law whimpers again, louder, and Rosinante brings a hand up, hovering it over Law’s head before hesitantly stroking his hair. Law tenses slightly at the touch, but then relaxes fully, and Rosinante slumps back in relief. He continues stroking at Law’s hair, brushing the matted strands away from his eyes and smoothing it down.

(He’s so, so angry at those who reject helping this kid – Law’s already been through so much; _too_ much for a kid his age (or anyone, really). How heartless do you have to be to turn away a small, sick child who so obviously needs help?

 _Very,_ Rosinante thinks as he glances at Law, who’s brows have loosened slightly at Rosinante’s ministrations.)

Rosinante firmly tears his thoughts away from those absolute _wastes_ of perfectly good oxygen.

He can’t do anything about the past – about the heartlessness of his fellow humans.

What he can do, however, is make sure to find a doctor for Law – find someone who is willing to treat him.

Because there has to be someone out there willing to do that.

There has to be.

Law has to live.

Law _will_ live.

Rosinante _swears_ it.

He will do absolutely anything to save the child sleeping in his arms.

(Even if it means giving up himself.)


	46. katakuri + exhilaration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Whole Cake Island

Katakuri’s side is gushing blood, his scarf is removed, baring the worst part of him to the world, and every part of him is battered and bruised.

This is arguably the worst state he’s ever been in.

But, seeing Straw Hat standing across from him, still standing despite the countless hits Katakuri’s bombarded him with, glaring fiercely at him and looking like he can go for five more rounds, willpower battering at Katakuri’s harder than any other he’s faced (other than his mama’s, of course), Katakuri’s never felt more _exhilarated_.

He’s been stuck at Tottoland for far too long – as the most responsible sibling and the strongest sibling, he’s tasked with staying at home and taking care of everything that his mother and family refuses to. No venturing out into the rest of the New World, no exploring the unknown – more exciting than _anything_ that happens at home, no fighting or brawling or even meeting new people. Just the same old monotony, day after day after day.

There’s no other way of saying it - he’s been _bored_.

But, now, facing down Monkey D. Luffy, Katakuri can finally let loose – can finally be free to fight, and brawl, and be happy in his own skin. There’s no judgement from his opponent, just respect and unending determination to beat him.

It’s the best thing that’s happened to Katakuri in years.

As they launch at each other for the umpteenth time, Katakuri grins, vicious and brutal, but _free_ above all else.

He’s having the time of his life.

He hopes this moment of pure exhilaration never ends.


	47. shanks + sakura

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Romance Dawn (wow a non-spoilery ficlet...I didn't think it was possible for me😂)

“Where’re we going, Shanks?”

Shanks grins and doesn’t answer, simply hiking the little monkey up higher on his shoulders and walking further into the forest. Luffy whines at the non-answer but quiets, and Shanks can tell he’s taking in the countless birds, and trees, and sounds, among other things that surround them. Luffy’s been into the forest plenty of times, Shanks knows, but there’s a difference between fighting to survive there and being safe, able to simply take in the wondrous nature enveloping them in its warmth.

They just walk, for a while, Luffy chattering about birds and bugs and bushes that he sees that interest him, and Shanks answering his random questions with a laugh and teasing remark. The forest really is beautiful, ground speckled with sunlight and trees tall and bold. It’s a warm day, and the laughter of the little boy on his shoulders just serves to make it all the brighter.

Soon, the little crevice that Shanks has been going for this entire way appears, and Shanks grins before lifting Luffy off of his shoulders, setting him on his own two feet. This is met with a whine, but Shanks just laughs before saying, “We’re almost there, Luffy. I need you to go through that crevice there, can you do that for me?”

Luffy, adventurous spirit that he is, instantly agrees, running through the crevice that is more like a tunnel to him. Shanks, however, has to turn sideways and scoot through it. He makes it through quickly enough, thankfully, and smiles at what he sees.

Luffy is standing shock still, looking up in awe. Shanks comes up alongside him and chuckles softly, ruffling his hair gently, causing him to look up at Shanks in wonder. He says, grinning, “Pretty, isn’t it?”

They’ve emerged into an open clearing, sunlight shining through the trees and splashing the ground with gold and warming their faces. There’re birds all around, and all sorts of wild animals creating a spectacle, but that’s not the main attraction; not what Luffy’s been staring at in awe for what must be a couple minutes now.

No, what’s snatched his attention is the tens of pure pink sakura trees, bright and beautiful, surrounding them. They’re _everywhere_ , enveloping them in beauty and rendering them speechless. Even Shanks, who’s seen it before, finds himself awestruck, unable to take his eyes off the gorgeous colors surrounding them.

Luffy nods distractedly in response, a bright smile on his face. He slips a hand into Shanks’, and Shanks laughs, utterly fond, scooping Luffy up so that he’s sat on his shoulders yet again. Luffy rests his small hands on Shanks’ head, and excitedly points out various things as Shanks slowly walks forward, making his way through the sakura grove.

Shanks smiles softly, glancing up at the bright smile Luffy has, leaning forward and exclaiming about everything he sees.

The grove and sunlight may be pretty, but Shanks doesn’t think anything will warm him more than the innocent laughter, joyful and free, of the little boy on his shoulders.


	48. law&lami + hearth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Level: Dressrosa

“Law?”

Law turns slightly, smiling warmly at his sister as he sets the poker to the side, the fire crackling warmly in the hearth. Lami, small and shivering, comes over and sits next to him. He wraps an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close and letting his warmth and the warmth of the fire soothe her.

“How’re you feeling?” He asks softly, absentmindedly rubbing circles into her shoulder with his thumb. She shrugs against his side, nuzzling closer to him and mumbling into his chest.

“Better, I guess.”

Law hums in response, grabbing a stick by his side and carefully sticking one end into the fire. Lami giggles as he brings the now-lit stick up, waving it around and drawing designs in the air in front of her. Law smiles and teasingly brings it close to her face, taking care not to put her at risk but making her shrink back, laughing and shoving against him with newfound energy to get him to stop.

Mission accomplished, Law tosses the stick in the fire and wraps his other arm around his little sister, stroking her hair gently. The little sigh she lets out as she snuggles closer to him causes his heart to warm and clench in the same moment.

(She’s shaking still – it’s slight, but it’s still there.

The white spots on her skin have never looked brighter than in the bright light of the flames.)

His little sister, his sweet, loving, _precious_ little sister, has been getting steadily worse and worse, and he doesn’t know what to _do_. Their parents have been working nonstop since the signs first started appearing, but the hints of desperation starting to shine on their faces as Lami edges closer and closer to becoming bedridden make a pit form in Law’s stomach.

They haven’t found a cure yet, and Lami shakes against Law’s side.

(Law’s starting to feel it too; the shakes, the pain, the slow realization that he’s dying.

It doesn’t fill him with fear like the thought of his little sister dying does.)

“…Law?” A whisper, quiet and hesitant, against his side.

“Yeah?”

“Am I going to die?” Law takes care to _not_ jerk his head over to look at her, but his stroking of her hair stops for a moment, before he resumes his motions, stiffer than before.

He says, calmly, as reassuringly as he can with tears pricking at the corners of his eyes, “Of course not. Mom and Dad will find the cure, and you’ll be back and driving me nuts again in no time.”

No response. Law glances at his sister out of the corners of his eyes, seeing Lami stare into the fire, biting her lip.

Tears are slowly rolling down her cheeks.

Law quickly pulls her closer, practically lifting her into his lap and hushes her, gently brushing her tears away. Lami chokes out, “But…what if they don’t?”

“They will. Trust me.”

It sickens him that it tastes like a lie.

(She can’t die. She _can’t_.)

Lami nods slightly, burying her face into his chest. Law ignores the growing wet spot and holds his sister close, fighting against the tears pricking at the backs of his eyes.

She whispers, “I’m _scared_ , Law.” Law shushes her, rubbing her back and laying his head on hers, but doesn’t respond.

A single tear trails down his cheek.

(He’s scared too.)

They sit, the dying hearth cooling in front of them, and hold each other close, as if it’s the last time they’ll ever be able to.

(It is.)


	49. vivi + news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uh. it's been a hot minute since I've posted here and I'm sorry about that so here have some Vivi softness to hopefully appease you!

“Princess! _Princess_!”

“Wha…” Vivi groans, rubbing her sticky eyes and then cracking them open, glaring blearily at Terracotta, standing in her doorway. Terracotta never wakes her up, or at least not in this manner (Vivi loves her sleep too much to let her do that).

(Plus, half the time she’s gone, anyway, so it’s good they don’t try to wake her up.)

Terracotta _never_ does this, so why-

“The Straw Hats are back!”

Instantly awake, Vivi sits up, snapping her head over to Terracotta. “They’re _what_?!” She repeats breathlessly, not even daring to _hope_. Her crew (and they’re her crew, they’ve been her crew even if she had to leave them) has been missing for so, so long, and she’s been so _worried_ about them.

(Vivi doesn’t think she’s ever been more disappointed in herself than that day, two years ago, when she read about Ace’s death in the newspapers.

She had to leave them, she knows she did, but the fact that she wasn’t there on the worst day of her captain’s life – that she didn’t keep her _promise_ – it hurts. It hurts more than she ever could have imagined.

_“Take care of him, okay?”_

She failed.

And she hasn’t been able to leave the country to comfort her captain, to _help_ him (not that she knows where her captain is, in the first place).

And that _hurts_.)

But-

Terracotta nods, beaming smile painted all over her face. “Look at this,” she says, more excited and energetic than Vivi thinks she’s seen her (since the day of her coronation, anyway). She hands a newspaper over to Vivi, who grips it tight enough that it almost rips, frantically scanning it. And, sure enough, there they are.

Nine people – two unfamiliar, one _too_ familiar – peer up at her. She scans over them briefly, but her eyes catch on her captain, picture larger and more prominent than the others. She pauses, a breath catching in her throat as she takes in his side profile.

He’s _smiling_.

She’s been so worried, these past couple of years. That her captain wouldn’t be able to recover from the loss of his brother. That he wouldn’t have anyone to help him through it. That he’d be alone.

That Luffy’s smile would be gone.

But her captain’s smiling in this picture, and a weight she didn’t realize was weighing on her shoulders finally eases.

And Nami’s smiling too, and Chopper, and Zoro’s scowling as always, and Sanji’s face is hidden but the sight of the back of his is still so, so relieving to her, and Usopp’s focused, and even the sight of the crewmates she doesn’t know (because she never truly knew Nico Robin, not really) brings a smile to her face. She brushes her fingers over the pictures, an almost awed smile on her face.

They’re alright.

They’re _together_.

She doesn’t think she’s smiled this freely in these past two years.

“They’re back,” Vivi whispers joyfully, feeling light and happy and brighter than she has in years. Terracotta gives her a smile, softened with the affection that Vivi’s grown up with all her life.

She comes over and places her hands on Vivi’s shoulder, meets her eyes, and says, gentle but firm, “They’re back, Princess. They’re alright.”

Vivi laughs disbelievingly, and steps forward, wrapping her arms around Terracotta. Terracotta sighs fondly, and indulges her “unprofessional” desires. Vivi buries her face in Terracotta’s shoulder, and Terracotta’s responding smile shapes itself against the crown of her head.

“You don’t have to worry anymore,” Terracotta says softly.

Vivi’s responding breath is shaky, though she doesn’t lose her smile.

Of course, Terracotta had noticed.

Of course, she’d noticed the late nights, the endless worries, the almost-obsessive searching of every newspaper that came by her. Of course, she’d noticed Vivi’s shoulders slowly weighing down more and more as no news had come. Of course, she’d noticed Vivi staring out the window, facing east with longing eyes.

Of course.

(She’s the closest thing Vivi has to a mother left, after all.)

Terracotta gives her a squeeze, and then leans back. She says gently, “Breakfast is in a little while, Princess. I’ll see you then.”

She leaves, then, and the door clicks shut behind her. Vivi, holding the newspaper to her heart, immediately strides towards the window. She opens it, sits on the window seat, and closes her eyes, almost able to imagine the wind whipping her hair back; the ocean spray cooling her face; the laughs and grins of her crewmates enveloping her in warmth.

Vivi opens her eyes, and laughs, laughs, laughs, and for the first time in two years, it’s free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vivi is a Straw Hat and I will not be convinced otherwise


End file.
